Ep. 89 The Stern Truth: What Are You Pushing For? With Julia Pazmandy

Julia Pazmandy believes that there are three parts to every human - the body, which is physical; the mind, logic and ego; and the soul, which is heart, passions and feelings. She takes these three parts to help people create an awareness of who they are and what they want.

In this episode, we talk about how that relates to burnout in entrepreneurs and small business owners. Julia says that money is a driving force and that we exchange our energy for it. And she’s experienced it herself, during a time she was running two businesses, basically running on coffee and vibes.

A frightening experience and a hospital visit turned things around for Julia. She got spiritual, and she got serious about changing her life.

Julia gives us a few signs of burnout to watch out for that she saw in herself. And, as always in an episode of the Stern Truth, she gave us some insightful golden nuggets. Once you’re secure, you feel more confident. Once you're confident, you perform better. I can’t tell you how much I agree with this golden nugget. 

“What are you pushing for?” is a question that Julia presents to people to simply get them aware. What is your goal? Why are you working so hard? This leads so well into what I always say, that everything goes back to your “why.”

This is another episode where you’ll want a paper and pen handy, my friends. Julia knocks it out of the park, one after another, golden nugget after golden nugget, reminding us balance doesn’t mean equality. It’s all about being present with others.

Connect with Julia here:

Website: joy-place.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/julia-pazmandy-732928206
Instagram: @your_joyplace 

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I encourage you to reach out with feedback, topic suggestions, and share your own entrepreneurial challenges.

Get in touch in the comments or head to...
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Email: marshall@marshallstern.net

Transcript

[00:00:00] Marshall Stern: Hi, I'm Marshall Stern and I've spent over 35 years leading and growing multiple small businesses. I know firsthand the struggles of entrepreneurship, feeling isolated, lonely, overwhelmed, and feeling like you have to do it all by yourself. I've been through multiple recessions, and I have felt the highs and the lows.

[00:00:24] I've been there, and I get it. This podcast is here to change that. Every week I will bring you straight talking advice, real world strategies, and honest conversations about what it takes to succeed in business without the fluff, the gimmicks, or the sugar-coated. If you're ready to stop spinning your wheels and start making real progress, then you are in the right place.

[00:00:47] This is The Stern Truth.

[00:00:53] Welcome back everyone to another episode of The Stern Truth Business Unfiltered. And I would like to introduce you to my amazing guest, Julia. Julia, how are you? 

[00:01:04] Julia Pazmandy: Hello, everyone. I'm doing great, and I'm very excited to be part of this podcast. 

[00:01:09] Marshall Stern: I have been looking forward to having you here and to share your wisdom, but also your journey on this show.

[00:01:15] Julia Pazmandy: And I'd love to do that. There is a lot that I can offer in terms of maybe some wisdom or advice on balancing work and pleasure in life, and I think that this episode will really showcase that. 

[00:01:29] Marshall Stern: Oh, I love it. Getting right to the point. But before we do that, okay, well, okay, I'm going to ask you, so what do you...

[00:01:35] Let, let's just first, for context, what do you do? Who's Julia? 

[00:01:39] Julia Pazmandy: I combine psychology with spirituality, and I help people become self-aware. In that journey, normally they discover self-acceptance, unconditional love, and really just become self-aware of who they are and what their wants and passions are.

[00:01:57] Because if we think about it, most people live on autopilot rather understanding and seeing their journey ahead. So, if somebody has a clear vision and a goal, it makes life easier, and this is where I come in to help identify that goal. 

[00:02:12] Marshall Stern: Okay, so most of our listeners are entrepreneurs, business owners, leaders.

[00:02:16] What do you think, how does this benefit them? Like, what do you ... Why, why ... Because, okay, before we go there, this is the Stern Truth. When you mention the word spirituality, a lot of business owners, leaders might think woo-woo. Do you know what I mean? Like kumbaya. 

[00:02:35] Julia Pazmandy: Yeah, so here's the thing. I use words spirituality, and I avoid using words such as energies or religions or, you know, some people refer to spirituality as Reiki. So to everybody, spirituality is their own thing. 

[00:02:51] Right? Somebody call ayahuasca spirituality. So, journeys are different, and to each its own. So, when I call it psychology/spirituality, all I'm doing is I'm bringing awareness that I personally believe that there's three parts to every human. Whether you are a business owner or entrepreneur or you're just starting or you're an employee or even a stay-at-home parent, which is still a job, you know?

[00:03:15] It doesn't matter. In the beginning, you are human. You are a human being, and I believe that every human being consists of body, which is physical; our mind, which is technically our logic and what I call ego; and our soul, which is our heart and our passions and really our feelings, you know, our heart.

[00:03:34] Some people call it intuition. So, there's really different names for it, but if we combine it all, all that shows us is there is more to us than just a shell. And if we acknowledge that there is more to us than just a shell, that's when the journey begins of self-awareness and self-discovery. 

[00:03:54] Marshall Stern: Hmm. Interesting. Okay, so for, for –

[00:03:56] Julia Pazmandy: You see, I ... Sorry to interrupt, Marshall. It just ... I wanted to add that I believe that we all are born with ability of unconditional love. And what is unconditional love? Unconditional love starts with lack of judgment and acceptance. So, if we look at one or two-year-old, they're not prejudiced.

[00:04:12] They're not racist. They're not sexist. They're just all loving beings that love even the parents that would abuse them. However, as the child grows, we see people making comments like, "You walk weird. You laugh weird. You write wrong. You speak wrong. Your jokes are not funny." And then the child starts learning to play different roles.

[00:04:36] So different roles or masks, that's what I refer to as ego, right? Something to please the people around them, please the society. So, my goal is when I meet somebody, you know, in age, and I would say 20 plus, that's when the mask or the ego is sitting strong. By that time, the person developed a personality, a role that they tend to play.

[00:05:03] So that's when I come in and I try to discover who is underneath it all. Who is underneath that role that we're trying to portray to society? Does that make sense? 

[00:05:15] Marshall Stern: No, a, 100%. So, I'm, I'm, I'm thinking from the viewpoint of our listeners, okay? Again, business owners, entrepreneurs, leaders, CEOs, founders, all that kind of stuff.

[00:05:27] We talked about this a little bit before we got on. We talked about burnout, and burnout's a huge thing with, with a lot of people, but especially on the in, on the business side, business owners, because they're doing so much. So, one thing I do with my clients that really help them focus on activities that actually energize them and that they're good at, and that actually drives business and revenue rather than the activities that drain them.

[00:05:49] But we also have to take time for ourselves because we will get burnt out.

[00:05:53] Julia Pazmandy: 100%. I believe that the moment you reach the burnout, your business will struggle. That's when you will go into financial crisis. Because really, if we, and for those who believe in energies, right? Would agree that money is also a sort of energy.

[00:06:08] So, for us, we exchange our energy for that money. And if we're burnt out, then that exchange will not be happening, and that's why businesses crash, because there is not enough energy or desire or passion, whatever you want to call it, for an entrepreneur to keep going. Because one thing we got to remember, if we concentrate on one aspect of our life, which is business, which is great, people tend to forget the personal aspect of their life.

[00:06:37] But there is a lot that can charge our mental and physical and emotional battery so we can go and perform in our business better. So, the problem is a lot of people don't know how to balance it or how to come up with that balance, and I think that's when coaching plays a big role in helping that.

[00:06:57] Marshall Stern: Okay. So, I just want to shift gears for a moment. Have you ever been, have you ever been or been close to burnout? 

[00:07:04] Julia Pazmandy: Actually, I was. That's how it all changed for me. 

[00:07:06] Marshall Stern: Okay. 

[00:07:07] Julia Pazmandy: It was the year 2014. 

[00:07:10] Marshall Stern: Mm. 

[00:07:10] Julia Pazmandy: At that point, I had two businesses in Montreal. One of them was a factory that I was running, and then I had a business with my husband that was in Toronto and partially located in Texas.

[00:07:22] So we had couple branches. And I remember we went out for dinner. We went to a restaurant, you know, I had my meal, and then I went to the washroom to wash my hands, and next thing I know, I had paramedics over top of me screaming, "Julia, Julia!" And my husband just panicked. And basically, I just stood up, went and collapsed.

[00:07:42] And I remember having headaches prior to this incident, and I would wave it off, and I would be like, "I'm fine," you know. Pop another Advil, let's keep going. Another coffee let's keep going. And this is when I realized that what I was doing was completely unhealthy. As much as I was performing well at my job, outside of it, I wasn't...

[00:08:02] I was really existing and surviving rather than living my life, which means that I was pouring everything into my business. 

[00:08:09] Marshall Stern: Mm-hmm. 

[00:08:10] Julia Pazmandy: But that's not enough for me to get back to recharge, and that's what truly burnt me out. 

[00:08:16] Marshall Stern: Wow. Okay. Uh – 

[00:08:18] Julia Pazmandy: Well, it was a good change because this is when I got into spirituality.

[00:08:21] I remember telling my husband that when it comes to being an entrepreneur, you know, I'm very passionate, goal-oriented, and I see my future. But outside of my businesses, I saw nothing. I didn't feel that I was really an involved mom, because I had somebody else helping me raise my children. I didn't feel like I was a really involved wife, because I was constantly busy and on the go.

[00:08:43] There's trips to Montreal, you know- flights, trains, you name it, rather than home dinners and meaningful conversations. And I realized that even seeing friends became such a special occasion. You know, we do it, something on birthdays or Christmases, where really it should take part of everyday life.

[00:09:04] And I think that in that process of proving the world that I can make money and I can do it, I forgot that first of all I was a human being with desires and wants, and that there's something that my soul might have wanted. So, to me, this was kind of a chance to regroup myself, and I always say that I not necessarily believe in religion, but I have faith.

[00:09:27] Marshall Stern: Right. 

[00:09:28] Julia Pazmandy: And I remember when I was in the hospital thinking to myself and kind of speaking to God and saying, "Okay, God, I really want to live more." And I remember this voice in my head saying, "If you want to live more, what are you living for? Just to work another day?" And this is what really made me see the situation in a different perspective.

[00:09:48] Marshall Stern: Hmm. I love that. Tell me... Okay, so 2014 you're beyond burnout because you collapse. You start to change the way you think, the way you... obviously the way you act and what you do and pouring into yourself. And I want our listeners to hear. I want to hear – I want them to hear a little bit of the journey because what led to burnout we all know.

[00:10:10] You're pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing. You're working, you're working. You're not taking care of yourself. You're not exercising. You're not eating right. All – not sleeping. Thus, you're not sleeping right. All that kind of stuff. You're short with your significant other. You're short with your kids. We all know that kind of stuff.

[00:10:25] What do you think... Okay, give us some golden nuggets, okay? Some tips for business owners who are feeling... They might not even realize it. They might be listening to this episode or watching this episode, and they might not realize it, okay? But I, I know from experience, their significant other, people in their lives may notice it.

[00:10:46] They may be saying things to them like, "Slow down. You're working so hard." Okay? What other, what are the signs, I guess? That's the question. What are the signs that people should look at, and what can they do with those signs? 

[00:11:01] Julia Pazmandy: Well, the first one I would say, a sign of denial because if somebody gives you feedback and you refuse it right away, that does show that you're in denial because you're not even allowing a small possibility that it might be true.

[00:11:17] Personally, one thing I've changed in my behavior is nowadays when somebody gives me feedback, even if my initial knee-jerk reaction is it's not true, I allow myself to still be open-minded enough to accept the possibility that what if it is true. And then I go down that road developing this thought and saying, "Okay.

[00:11:38] What if it is true? How would I see it?" And normally, believe me, you start seeing the situation from a different perspective, and I think this is the true strength of humans that we're capable of, is seeing different perspectives because life is not black and white. There's always two sides of the coin, and it's important to vision that.

[00:12:01] As much as one can think that he or she providing for the family and this is the best for them, without communicating with your family what really do they need, you can never know the true priorities. Yes, if you're a solo bird and you live on your own and you have no kids and no spouse, sure, live your life the way you see fit.

[00:12:21] But if you chose to have a family or raise the family, you should take those people into consideration. And I find that with my journey, the way it kind of started after my collapse, is, the first thing I did is I reached out to people to offer help. And I remember my husband asking me, because I was on LinkedIn, and back in the days, my LinkedIn profile said, "Passionate entrepreneur."

[00:12:47] And all of a sudden, I throw this post saying that if anybody needs a breath of fresh air or positive thinking or just positive thoughts, you know, please come to me, send me a message, and I will be here to kind of lift up your spirits. From that point on, within couple of months and seeing people reaching out just to hear something nice, because perhaps they don't have anybody who's positive in their lifetime, I recognized that there is a lot of help I can give, without it costing me money or without even a big effort.

[00:13:19] So back in 2015, I've made a decision that, from now on, every single day, I will pick three random strangers and do three acts of kindness. And that was kind of my base. And to tell you the truth, Marshall, when you do things for others, especially people that you don't know, strangers, that they cannot return that favor or that help, you really feel fulfilled and empowered.

[00:13:46] Now, with that being said, once you feel fulfilled and empowered, you feel more secure. Once you feel more secure, you feel more confident. Once you're confident, you can perform better, whether, again, you work at home, whether you work for somebody else, or whether you work for yourself. So again, I think everything, it starts with self, and this is what people forget.

[00:14:10] People forget about themselves in the whole process of making money and running after big goals that society usually projects on us. Because some people, they try to achieve something that they don't even want. And I know that, for, myself, my desires back in, let's say, 2012 and 2022 were completely opposite.

[00:14:35] I went from wanting things to wanting connections. I went from valuing and putting money ahead of it all to valuing relationships and people, and seeing more value in deepness and depth, rather than surface. 

[00:14:53] Marshall Stern: So that brings up – 

[00:14:54] Julia Pazmandy: Does that make sense? 

[00:14:54] Marshall Stern: No, 100%, and that brings up really a bigger, a bigger question, and a bigger...

[00:14:58] I would even call it a, I don't know if it's a pandemic or epidemic, if that's the right word. So many entrepreneurs, so many small business owners are pushing so hard because we live in, I, I always call it, we live in this, well, I used to call it Amazon dot now world. Like, our kids, right?

[00:15:16] Everyone's like, everything's now. Now it's like ChatGPT and AI. Everything's now. All the answers are in front of you. So, they think people get into business, and I see this all the time – they think they got to keep pushing and pushing because they want the answers now. They want the clients now. They want the money now.

[00:15:34] So they keep pushing, and keep pushing, and keep pushing, and then gets to the point where they collapse Whether it's physically, emotionally, spiritually, whatever, being, burnout sets in because they just, they want – 

[00:15:49] Julia Pazmandy: Well, here's the thing – 

[00:15:49] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:15:50] Julia Pazmandy: …Marshall, in that process of pushing, I always try to bring pro- person's awareness to what are you pushing for?

[00:15:57] Marshall Stern: Mm. 

[00:15:58] Julia Pazmandy: Is it retirement? Is it a specific goal? Is it to buy a house so you feel secure with your family? Because here's the thing, somebody might be pushing for that Maserati so they look better in front of their employees, and somebody might be pushing to buy a home where his or her children might feel secure.

[00:16:18] So pushing can be from two different directions, and there is a really great quote Jim Carrey said once. He said, "I wish for people to get everything they want so they realize that it's not what they wanted." 

[00:16:32] Marshall Stern: Mm-hmm. 

[00:16:33] Julia Pazmandy: And he gave example from his life that he remembers, like, working hard, you know, to get this big mansion, and once he had it, yes, it was fun the first year or two, but then it wore off, and he realized that that was just, you know, a picture that he wanted that he thought would bring him happiness, but it had nothing to do with happiness.

[00:16:53] Because our happiness comes from internal feelings, from feeling of peace other than feeling of the race. Because here's the thing, when we achieve our goals and we have that celebratory feeling of a win, that's great. But again, that is not peace. That's excitement. And being in constant state of excitement is just simply not even healthy.

[00:17:16] Yeah. So really, peace is what people should be going after, and if somebody is in the rat race, come on, Marshall, you got to agree, there is no peace in that. 

[00:17:25] Marshall Stern: No. And, and, and that's why a lot of people leave corporate, because they get burnt out. They leave the rat race and think, "I'm going to start my own gig," okay?

[00:17:32] And this happens all the time. "I'm going to start my own business. I'm going to work. I got freedom. Julia, I'm going to start up my own business. I am going to have freedom. I'm going to have financial freedom. I'm going to have time freedom." And you know what ends up happening. Zero vacation time. 

[00:17:45] Julia Pazmandy: Tell me. Mm-hmm. 

[00:17:45] Marshall Stern: Salary go – they have zero salary or it just goes down.

[00:17:48] Okay? So, and I'm not saying this to depress our listeners, right? But it's more to impress, impress upon them that phrase you just said a few minutes ago, okay? What... To ask yourself this question. I want every single person listening and watching, ask yourself this question if you're, anywhere... Forget about burnout, even if you're just, you think everything's fine, because you said denial, okay?

[00:18:13] Which is part of, like, there's awareness, right? Opposite of denial, awareness, acceptance. What are you pushing for? That's my question, Julia's question. That's our question for all of you today. What are you pushing for? That, Julia, we're going to continue talking, but that could be it. That could be a wrap because that is a, such a powerful question that most people, if not everybody, doesn't even ask themselves.

[00:18:37] Julia Pazmandy: Well, one thing that ties in with awareness, right, and living in awareness is to have purpose. So, one thing my kids and my husband and my friends know that I don't do anything without a purpose. Even if it's a simple conversation, it's important for me to understand the intent behind this conversation, and the purpose that I'm doing it for.

[00:19:01] So going back again to pre-burnout state, some people go after big mansions and houses, and things that they can't even financially support. 

[00:19:11] And yes, they do it to impress others. So, there is no peace and satisfaction within, because it's a pretty picture. But underneath it all, it's all rotten. So really, you're better off building a healthy foundation underneath, understanding all the purposes. Because one thing I told my husband, I said, "If my friends will turn away from me because I'm not rich enough, those are not my people.

[00:19:35] Those are not my friends." I don't need to impress my friends with my wallet. I need to impress myself, my friends with who I am within. And then it comes to entrepreneurs too, and business owners. You know, when you're working with somebody who works with their clients or their employees or their suppliers, what type of person they are.

[00:19:56] Because sometimes people play different roles with different people. I've seen, you know, a manager talking nicely to a customer, and then turning around and talking rudely to his employee. That means that he is switching roles within, I don't know, a 10-minute span. That shows me that the person is not authentic to themselves.

[00:20:19] Because somebody who's aware, who moves with purpose, will be really consistent in their behavior, no matter who they're dealing with. 

[00:20:30] Marshall Stern: Right. 

[00:20:31] Julia Pazmandy: Because if you're a kind person, you're going to be kind all around. Now, if you're faking kindness, then you will change that mask depending on who you're talking to.

[00:20:41] Does that make sense? 

[00:20:43] Marshall Stern: It does, it makes sense to me. I'm cur- so I want to know from the listeners if that makes sense to them, and if they have any questions on everything so far. And she's going to add more. Everything so far that she's, she's –

[00:20:53] Julia Pazmandy: Well, I'm sharing that some people might be able to relate to that point.

[00:20:57] You know? 

[00:20:57] Marshall Stern: Oh, I –  

[00:20:58] Julia Pazmandy: Might, somebody might recognize themselves saying, "Oh, yeah, the way I talk to my wife, the way I talk to my daughter, the way I talk to my secretary, and the way I talk to my CEO are four completely different people." And if that's you, and if that's somebody, something you're catching in the back of your mind, that shows you right then and there that you're not consistent with your personality.

[00:21:20] And you really need to look in, inside yourself and into yourself to understand who is really underneath all those masks. 

[00:21:29] Marshall Stern: I agree. So personal story, and I, I'm going back to that question, just sticking with me. What are you pushing for, okay? Which really a, put another way is, what's important to you?

[00:21:40] Like, really in the big picture, what is important to you? I work with my clients, I want them to get clear on their why. Why are they doing what they're doing? What is really important to you? Like, deep down, what's really important? What are you pushing for? Rewind back to 2011 when I started my journey. I had my other business, my sign and graphics business.

[00:21:56] I had had it at that point for 17 years. And I had decided I wanted to... I, I had a Oprah moment, the aha moment, okay? And – 

[00:22:07] Julia Pazmandy: I love that for you. 

[00:22:08] Marshall Stern: I, I decided to become a leadership coach, trainer, speaker, all that kind of stuff. Didn't know what I was going to do with it, but I took a program. John Maxwell, who is my, who is my idol.

[00:22:17] He's like leadership God. And, and I started the journey. I had my other business. I had two young kids, a wife, my dog... Didn't have my dog at the time, and she hasn't barked yet. And I was just studying, and I fell in love with it. That was my passion. As a... even though I had my other business, that was my passion, and I was nonstop, nonstop studying.

[00:22:38] And my family knew. I wasn't even watching Canuck hockey games, which I wish it was now because I don't want to watch them now because they're the worst in the league. I, I digress. But there's a point to this. I was so drinking the Kool-Aid, I was so in love with leadership, and the... It was my purpose, it was my passion, it was my future.

[00:22:57] It's what I was going to do. I was going to help business owners, my own team. Couple months in, I remember we were out for dinner and my wife said to me, "You're doing this leadership stuff for everyone else. Don't forget about your family." I was in denial at the time, but I saw it shortly after because I was so...

[00:23:15] And this is... It's easy, you know, it's easy to, okay, when you're pushing for money, okay? It might be the wrong thing, but you're just pushing and pushing, pushing. It's all the same. But when you're in love with what you do, okay, it's so hard to see that you're missing everything around you. And I – 

[00:23:32] Julia Pazmandy: Yeah, it can get carried away.

[00:23:33] Marshall Stern: …and I started coaching entrepreneurs, I started coaching my own team, my staff, my team, my leadership team, and I loved it, but I wasn't being the leader for my family during that time that I needed to be. I wasn't horrible, but I wasn't being the leader that I needed to be. And I thought, I didn't believe it at the time because I was so, I was living my passion or my purpose.

[00:23:57] My ultimate passion really is my family, but I forgot that for a while, and I didn't know that I forgot that. And that's why I think a lot of, and I share that, right? Because I think a lot of business owners go through that. They love what they do, or maybe they don't, but in this case, they love what they do.

[00:24:13] Work doesn't feel like work. It's play. They just love it. Like, I could do this all day long. Okay? But if I did do this all day long, I would burn out. 

[00:24:24] Julia Pazmandy: Very true. 

[00:24:25] Marshall Stern: So, what are some tips that you can give our listeners when they're so caught up in what they do, and they're pushing, even if they're pushing for something for themselves and for their family, but they're pushing so hard before the burnout comes, because it will.

[00:24:40] What can they do to slow down in order to speed up? 

[00:24:45] Julia Pazmandy: Well, there's two solutions. One is very small but very hard to do. The other one is bigger but easier to do. So, the first thing I always recommend is to stay present. And what that means is that when you at work, you really concentrate on your work.

[00:25:02] And when you at home, you concentrate on your family. A lot of people sometimes say, "Oh, when I'm at home, I think about my work, and when I'm at work, you know, I'm thinking about my family." Well, that's counterproductive because really then you're splitting yourself up, where you're better off just investing those hours and then allocating specific hours for the family, or maybe a day.

[00:25:22] For example, I remember for us it started with Sunday. I announced to my kids and my family that Sunday is our holy day. We're going to spend time together, whether it's holding hands in the living room or traveling and, I don't know, driving around discovering places. It was the family day no matter what.

[00:25:39] And I think that was a great beginning because after that it was so enjoyable that it turned into weekends, and then the rule came to the afternoons after 6:00. And now I find that there is more balance, even for my husband between work and home. Because for him, he's still running the businesses. I do more spiritual work, so I can have the luxury of working from home.

[00:26:04] He actually physically goes to the office, goes to our warehouses, and he has multiple warehouses that he's got to support. So sometimes, just like you said, you know, he gets carried away and he puts purpose before his passion. And I believe, to any human being, family is passion if we're talking from our soul.

[00:26:24] Marshall Stern: Mm-hmm. 

[00:26:24] Julia Pazmandy: And I remember having conversation with my husband last year where we're talking about goals, and I said, "Okay, well, what are your goals at the end of the life? Like, where do you want to see yourself?" And he goes, "Well, I want to be close to my kids. You know, I want to be close to you. I want us to have this feeling of togetherness.

[00:26:41] I want my kids coming to me all the time. I want us to have traditions." And he named all the right things. And you know what, Marshall? I was waiting to see what he's going to say on how he's going to get there. And I thought he's going to say, you know, "We'll do more family dinners. Let's create more traditions." But no.

[00:26:58] His answer was, to get to that togetherness, he was going to work harder. 

[00:27:03] Marshall Stern: Mm. 

[00:27:04] Julia Pazmandy: I remember looking at him, and I'm like, "What?" And he's like, "Yeah, I just need to put more hours at work and work harder so I can make more money, so when we retire, we have the time." And I was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." I'm like, "By the time you make that money, and you retire, your kids will be so far separated from you that they're not going to even want to come see you."

[00:27:21] Because you substitute work for family. And really, I'm not saying it's got to be 50/50. Balance, it's not about equality. Balance is about if you chose today to work, please allocate at least an hour for your family or for yourself. And for that I have a bigger tool, yeah? 

[00:27:42] Marshall Stern: I have to stop you for a second.

[00:27:44] I want everyone to hear this. I'm writing this down. Man, you – Julia, y- you're just, like, delivering today. You're knocking it out of the ballpark. Balance is not equality. Oh my gosh, I love that. Because so many people strive for work-life balance, but the way... Just when you, when I, when I heard that, just by saying it, I agree 100%.

[00:28:04] It's not balance does not equal – it's not equal to equality. Balance is not equality. Because some days, you're going to be grinding a bit more, some days you're going to be with family a bit more. But we need to, even if you just said, and continue on, I cut you off, but even if it's an hour a day Yeah.

[00:28:20] It's just about being present. That was really quality.

[00:28:22] Julia Pazmandy: Yeah. Yeah. The whole point is if you're at home, be invested at home, because a lot of people, even when they're at home, they're still on their phone and they're working. And really, even with rest, if you think about it, work versus rest cannot be equal.

[00:28:38] Marshall Stern: Mm-hmm. 

[00:28:38] Julia Pazmandy: Because as much as people think they can rest forever, believe me, it's not true. I forget the person's name, but he’s quite famous. He's a millionaire. And I remember watching one of his podcasts and interviews, and he was kind of explaining that at the age of 32, he had enough money where he thought he's going to retire.

[00:29:00] So for about year and a half, he'd done nothing but pleasure. He would wake up in the morning and be like, "You know what? Today I'll take my private jet to Hong Kong. I want to check it out." Or "Today I want to just stay home," or "I want to fly there," or "I want to experience this." And one thing he learned, he said that during that year and a half, he did not gain any knowledge.

[00:29:22] He just spent, I believe it was, like, $2.5 million, but really there was no residual after that. He didn't feel satisfied. He didn't feel accomplished. He didn't feel like he really reached some kind of a goal. He said he felt like he just wasted time. So, rest is very important, but again, in moderations.

[00:29:44] Because if we resting three months in a row, come on, Marshall, that's not rest anymore. That's simply laziness, right? Or lack of motivation. And it might be clinical depression that's causing it. There might be reasons. I'm not debating that. But I'm saying that having a vacation seven to 10 days after working for a few months should recharge your battery.

[00:30:05] And yes, there's little things that you can do on daily basis, and this is where my second tool comes in. I call it a cheat sheet. And what it is, I always ask my clients to take a piece of paper, separate it on three to four columns, depending on what situation they're in, and the three columns that are consistent for everybody would be things I do for my mind, things I do for my body, things I do for my soul.

[00:30:33] And then the fourth one, person can put things I do for my child, or for my family, or for my spouse, whatever else they want to add. But the first three is what really recharges our battery. Because one thing we got to remember is that when we're working, even if we're working with purpose and passion, we're still giving out energy.

[00:30:54] We're still depleting our reserve. Kind of like a cellphone, right? Like, cellphone drains its energy, it's normal, it's common. But if you don't recharge a cellphone, it's going to stop working. So, the same thing for humans. It's normal for us to work and give away our energy, but it's very important to replenish.

[00:31:10] Yes, sleep helps us replenish it. Yes, vacations help us replenish it. But there has to be something in between, the little things that keeps us going. So, for example, when we look at the body, normally I ask a person to write something down between maybe 20 to 30 lines of things that they can do within 15 minutes.

[00:31:33] For example, a 15-minute walk, five minutes of sit-ups, maybe a quick shower or a contrast shower. You know, you heat up for two minutes, you throw five seconds of cold. It does rejuvenate you. It does give you that energy boost. It does make your body feel like you're aware of it and you're present.

[00:31:52] Another thing you can do is simple as taking vitamins, or maybe, taking a booster shot, or maybe, go, I don't know, dancing in your living room. So just movement, something that you can do for your body, yoga, stretches. Allocate it, write it out, so in the moments when you feel tired emotionally or drained, mentally, you can do something to give your body a bit of a boost to help your mental state.

[00:32:23] Because, you know, when they say that if you work out mentally, it gives you dopamine and you feel happier, and all of a sudden, you're more productive? So, it's the same concept. When we move our body, when we do something for our body, it does recharge our battery. Even a walk, as much as it's a physical activity, it's an active rest.

[00:32:43] It kind of starts that energy movement that helps us keep going. Now going back to the second column of mind, there's things that we can do like reading, learning a new skill, maybe a language. Somebody can take a rule of learning one new word a day to expand their vocabulary. Personally, for me, in the last few months I was taking violin classes.

[00:33:06] I realized that it's something that I wanted to do, and something I play with, and I find that it's very soothing, right? So, to somebody it can be an instrument, you name it, you go for it. And even learning something new, right, or listening to a podcast, it still goes into a mental column. And then we have soulful column.

[00:33:25] So for the soulful column you can do good deeds, and those are just endless. From buying somebody a coffee behind you in Tim Horton's line up, to opening a door, or paying somebody a compliment, or just lighting somebody's day. Like, one of my favorite things to do is when I'm out and about, I keep awareness for sad or grumpy people, and when I see somebody in an off mood, I'll kind of evaluate what I like about them, and then I'll approach them and be like, "Sorry to bug you.

[00:33:54] I just wanted to say you have a really cool hat." Or, you know, "Sorry to bother you, but I have to say, like, you have such a beautiful eyes." You know? Like, depending on who the person is, and I find that that bit of positivity really lights up somebody's day. That reflects onto you and your soul. Marshall, did you had a question?

[00:34:13] Marshall Stern: Well, I'm just going to stop you there because we have some listeners that are in Vancouver. You're, you're obviously not from Vancouver, because if you were from Vancouver, if you did that in Vancouver... Do you, have you ever been to Vancouver? 

[00:34:24] Julia Pazmandy: Yes, couple times. I love it, but not enough to know what you're about to say.

[00:34:29] Marshall Stern: You do that in Vancouver in an elevator at a, like, a... I don't even know if we have any stores anymore with elevators, but if you do it on someone on the street, they're, they're going to think you're, like, completely crazy. People... Right? I'm from the Prairies. That comes across well. In Vancouver, people are like, "Oh, my..."

[00:34:45] Like, lock her up because people don't talk to people. Not a good thing…

[00:34:49] Julia Pazmandy: That's funny.

[00:34:49] Marshall Stern: …but you don't talk to strangers in Vancouver. It's like people are very... So, sorry, it just I, when you said that, I'm thinking, "Not in Vancouver." But that is very nice. That is very nice. 

[00:34:58] Julia Pazmandy: Well, you know what? There is lots of different things we can do as good deeds, and I remember actually I had a client who was struggling with self-esteem, and he just went through divorce, and his wife had this notion of referring to him as worthless.

[00:35:13] And I remember he said, "It's really hard to build yourself up when somebody close to you calling you that name." And I said, "Okay, now here's the thing." And this reminded me, sort of, of my daughter. Years back, she comes home from school, and she's crying. And she goes, "Mom, Emily said I was stupid, but I'm not."

[00:35:31] And she's crying about it, right? And I look at her, and I say, "Okay, I have a question for you." And mind you, my daughter was super skinny. I said, "What if Emily said that you were very fat?" My daughter starts laughing. She's like, "Look at me. Of course I'm not fat." And I'm like, "What would just happen? If Emily calls you stupid, you cry because you're not, but if Emily calls you fat, you know you're not.

[00:35:53] You're laughing at it." So, one thing that when somebody's struggling with self-esteem, I always say, "Do good deeds," because if you're good doer, nobody can say you're worthless. And one of the things I recommend is that Sunday morning, go to soup kitchen, feed homeless, and now nobody can ever refer to you as worthless because you're already contributing to society without getting anything back.

[00:36:17] Because when we think of work, we get paid, so we can't call it a good deed, but when we're doing something from the bottom of our heart, that also can lift our energies. Now, another thing that would go good in a soulful column is maybe cooking a meal that you would eat in a childhood. You know, maybe listening to a song.

[00:36:37] Maybe, I don't know, meditating and doing a dance or watching clouds if, you know, weather permit. So, there is really a lot of things we can do for our mind, body, and soul. And there's a lot of things that are actually under a 15-minute time span. So really, if you think about it, within 45 minutes, and you can take those intervals anytime through the day, you can fulfill your needs slowly but surely.

[00:37:05] And if you just take those little time slots for yourself, that's already awareness enough that you exist and that you're present. 

[00:37:13] Marshall Stern: And I'm going to push back on people who say, "I don't have the time," because everyone has 15 minutes here. You can find 15 minutes there. Julia – 

[00:37:24] Julia Pazmandy: Oh,100%. Yeah, sure. Actually, Marshall, I have a funny story for you.

[00:37:27] I remember when I first came up with this tool, first I always try everything on myself, then my husband, my kids, and then I bring it to society. So, I remember I told my husband to come up with this list, and one of the things that he wrote for his body was vitamins. Now mind you, between... My husband constantly flying between, you know, Texas and Canada, Toronto.

[00:37:50] You name it, he's there. So, he does have a very busy schedule. Now, with that being said, when he picked to take vitamins that day, I thought he for sure going to nail it. Marshall, he came home that night, and I go, "Did you follow through on your vitamins?" And he goes, "Julia, they're still in my bag." Case closed.

[00:38:10] Like, when you think about it, sometimes people can't even take five seconds to swallow a vitamin that might help them, you know, their cognitive thinking. It might help, I don't know, their blood pressure issues. It might be magnesium that calms them down. Like, there's so many things that can help us that really takes less than five seconds to do or use, and even then, people can't put themselves first.

[00:38:37] Marshall Stern: Until ... Okay, before we go, I'm going to put ... I'm going to ... I agree with you 100%. Until something happens and you collapse –  

[00:38:42] Julia Pazmandy: True. 

[00:38:43] Marshall Stern: ...or you have, like, heart issues, and the doctor says, "You have to take this medicine," then you could be ... And the reason is because you now, you understand the deeper why. There's a reason.

[00:38:52] There's a why. There's a purpose that's going to save your life. Whereas the vitamin is something to maintain and prevent, right? But if you really think of – well, that's one thing ... but, but if you think about it, if you really think about it, if a doctor said, "You have to take this vitamin every single day," which a doctor, a regular doc, medicine doctor wouldn't, but if they say you have to take this vitamin every single day, you probably would.

[00:39:13] You – 

[00:39:13] Julia Pazmandy: Oh, 100%. And I find that there is a saying that it takes people to hit the rock bottom to change. 

[00:39:18] Marshall Stern: Yeah, yeah. 

[00:39:19] Julia Pazmandy: And this is why I urge my clients, people that are listening, your clients, take those five to 15 minutes. 

[00:39:26] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:39:26] Julia Pazmandy: Do those things, recharge your battery, and then you'll never have to reach that bottom to bounce back.

[00:39:32] Marshall Stern: Love it. Love it. Love it, love it, love it. It's awesome, everything you've shared. Okay, so how can people get in touch with you? We're going to put it in the show notes, but just, what's the easiest way to, for people to get in touch with you?

[00:39:42] Julia Pazmandy: I think the best way is LinkedIn or Instagram. I do have a website.

[00:39:46] Anybody who would Google my name, the information comes up, very available, and I'm always happy for people to reach out. 

[00:39:55] Marshall Stern: Okay. Julia, this has been phenomenal. And before we go, gang, listeners, viewers, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? What's the next step for you? And are you going to ask yourself, well, that, that question, what are you pushing for?

[00:40:12] Julia's shared so many golden nuggets here that are not just golden nuggets, but they're actually... They can completely... if you implement. Here's the thing about the Stern Truth. Here's the thing about Julia, what I say, what I, I share all the time. You can have all these amazing people listening to and getting all these amazing golden nuggets.

[00:40:30] If we don't take action and we don't implement consistently, nothing's going to change. And I always say nothing changes if nothing changes. Julia, thank you. You are amazing. 

[00:40:43] Julia Pazmandy: Thank you so much, Marshall, for having me.

[00:40:44] Marshall Stern: I might have to have you back one of these days, because I know there's so much more you can share.

[00:40:48] But, gang, reach out to Julia if you want to have a conversation, if you want to connect with her. I'll put all the stuff in the show notes. And, yeah, this has been awesome. So, we'll see everyone again next week on another episode of The Stern Truth: Business Unfiltered. Bye for now, everyone.

[00:41:06] Thank you so much for tuning in to the Stern Truth. If you found today's episode helpful, we would love to hear from you. Please like, share, and leave us a review. Also, if you'd like to be a guest in an upcoming episode or join us in one of our Momentum accountability group sessions, simply email me to marshall@marshallstern.net.  

[00:41:27] That's marshall@marshallstern.net. And don't forget to hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode. Until next time, keep pushing forward and leading with confidence.