Ep. 83 The Stern Truth: Fall Back in Love with Your Why (& Your Business) With Stephanie Gross

Bumby Wool is a custom merino wool manufacturer located in Red Deer, Alberta. As the owner, Stephanie Gross proudly shares within the first three minutes that she’s had two employees for around 16 years. That says a lot about her leadership skills!

Stephanie’s roots come from selling Girl Guide cookies, working the Dairy Queen drive-through, eventually starting her own business. And Stephanie has been through a lot in her 18 years of business. COVID, moving to a commercial space, tariffs, so many ups and downs, just like any business.

She felt like nothing was working in her business. She started attending the Catalyst Club (shoutout to Kelly Kennedy!) along with myself and other business owners then went deeper -  Stephanie looked into what she was doing in her business and why she was doing it, and began making incredible changes and meeting big goals. 

When Stephanie mentions that quitting is not an option for her, I bring up how it may be just the wrong path that we’re on. Your gut can lead you down a wrong path but you can’t let fear stand in your way. 

We also touch on your “why,” a common theme here on the Stern Truth. Most owners forget the reason they started their businesses, but we always need to dig deeper than “more money” or “more freedom.” Your business “why” has to align with your personal “why,” because it’s pretty obvious when they don’t. 

Stephanie’s got some great golden nuggets to share throughout this episode, and one I really liked was to know your gut instincts. Really hone in on it. Once you recognize what your gut is telling you, you can put your ego aside and fill the gaps.

Connect with Stephanie here:

Email: letscreate@bumbywool.com 

YouTube: youtube.com/@bumbywool8197
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/steph-gross-bumbywool/ 

Subscribe to The Stern Truth Business Unfiltered so you never miss an episode and receive a FREE GIFT: http://www.thesterntruth.com/

Join my Business Inner Circle Community for free here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thebusinessinnercirclegroup

Book your complimentary business blindspot assessment with me here: https://attractwell.com/MarshallStern/landing/breakthrough-session

I encourage you to reach out with feedback, topic suggestions, and share your own entrepreneurial challenges.

Get in touch in the comments or head to...
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marshallstern/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarshallDStern
Email: marshall@marshallstern.net

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

[00:00:00] Marshall Stern: So, have you ever been at a point in your business where you've kind of lost maybe the passion, the drive to make a business a success? And maybe you're thinking, maybe you're going through it right now, maybe you – you're thinking of either giving up and going back and getting a job, or selling your business, or just shutting it down and just doing something completely different because you've been pushing and pushing, and things have changed, the economy has changed, the world's changed, you don't know what to do next.

[00:00:29] Well, today, my friends, we sit down with Stephanie Gross, and her story resonates a lot with me because I went through a point in time in some of my businesses where I had lost the passion, and I was ready to sort of move on. Stephanie's story is not just inspiring, but it's also very insightful and educational.

[00:00:49] I want you to grab a pad of paper and pen. Seriously, this time I want you to grab a pad of paper and pen because I think you are going to get some amazing golden nuggets and some insights that you can use in your business, especially if you're at a point where you're feeling it's very heavy and it might be time to move on.

[00:01:07] Have a listen. Love to hear your feedback. Enjoy

[00:01:15] Hi, I'm Marshall Stern and I've spent over 35 years leading and growing multiple small businesses. I know firsthand the struggles of entrepreneurship, feeling isolated, lonely, overwhelmed, and feeling like you have to do it all by yourself. I've been through multiple recessions, and I have felt the highs and the lows.

[00:01:34] I've been there, and I get it. This podcast is here to change that. Every week I will bring you straight talking advice, real world strategies, and honest conversations about what it takes to succeed in business without the fluff, the gimmicks, or the sugar-coated. If you're ready to stop spinning your wheels and start making real progress, then you are in the right place.

[00:01:58] This is the Stern Truth.

[00:02:02] Marshall Stern: Welcome back everyone to another episode of The Stern Truth: Business Unfiltered. And I would like to introduce you to my special guest, Stephanie Gross. How are you? 

[00:02:16] Stephanie Gross: I am fan-freaking-tastic. 

[00:02:19] Marshall Stern: I freaking love it. 

[00:02:21] Stephanie Gross: Yes. 

[00:02:21] Marshall Stern: Let's go. 

[00:02:22] Stephanie Gross: I'm doing great.

[00:02:22] Marshall Stern: Why are you... Why? 

[00:02:25] Stephanie Gross:  I think that it is interesting when, when I said that when we first met today, you're like, "There's got to be some, like, not great things too."

[00:02:32] And it's, it's so great because it has been such a hard ride to get here, so you can appreciate how great it is now, you know? 

[00:02:41] Marshall Stern: Yes. Okay. So, for context for our listeners, because this is The Stern Truth, but before we get into the real Stern Truth, let's hear your Stern Truth on your, on what you do, how long, and maybe a little bit about your journey.

[00:02:53] Stephanie Gross: Sure. I, I would love to share that with you. 

[00:02:55] Marshall Stern: Perfect. 

[00:02:55] Stephanie Gross: Well, first off, I just have to give a shout-out to Gilmore Guitar, where I'm sitting in studio, which is right next door to my shop.  and he's been coming over to buy soap from me for a little bit, and we've been buddies for a while. And I thought, "Hey, can I come over and use your amazing studio?"

[00:03:13] Because he does podcasts and, he’s a... So, he makes guitars and he's, like, Santa's workshop. So, I just wanted to give a shout-out to him. And so, it's really cool sitting in this really amazing office. I don't know, for those of you on video, you can see I have, like, this very professional camera that I'm excited to share.

[00:03:31] So my journey, so I started my business 18 years ago when my son was born. The name of the company is Bumby Wool. We are a custom merino wool manufacturer, so we make everything here in Red Deer, Alberta, where I'm located. I said we because I have three wonderful ladies that work for me. My first two hires are still with me, and they've been with me for about 16 years.

[00:03:55] And so we were a, you know, a stay-at-home mom, sort of a in-the-basement business, bootstrap. And a few years ago, just before COVID, we decided to... Well, I decided, I am the leader, if you will, so I decided that we were ready to, to take the business to the next level, so we incorporated, moved into commercial space.

[00:04:14] And COVID hit, and now the tariffs, and been a lot of ups and downs over the years, for sure. But I look back at where we started and those humble roots, and I'm just really... That's why I'm... Like, so many cool things have been happening in the last little bit. Yeah, so we make custom merino wool clothing for all ages, all genders, we weren't plus-sized inclusive with colors and sizing and, you know, everything.

[00:04:38] And we make... Everything is made to fit, so just like an old-school dressmaker or tailor. So, somebody will come into the store, or they will do it digitally with us, and we will help them figure out a capsule for them or custom clothing, and we'll make it to fit them. And we ship all over the world, mostly to the United States.

[00:04:59] Marshall Stern: Very nice. Well, let's also... So, we'll get into all that. We're also going to give a little bit of a shout-out to the amazing Kelly Kennedy 

[00:05:06] Stephanie Gross: I was going to say, yeah ... where we met in the Catalyst Club. 

[00:05:06] Marshall Stern: So, gang, come, go check out the Catalyst Club. And Kelly's podcast, Business Development Podcast, also a very cool podcast.

[00:05:16] Stephanie Gross: Which I shamelessly invited myself to be on his podcast shortly as well, so. 

[00:05:19] Marshall Stern: That, that is awesome. No, that is- That's what we do. That, that's what we... That's awesome. 

[00:05:23] Stephanie Gross: It's all about sharing our stories, you know? 

[00:05:26] Marshall Stern: Yes, for sure. So, I’m curious, so you, when you came on today you said you're freaking fabulous or something, or freak- freaking fantastic.

[00:05:36] Stephanie Gross: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 

[00:05:37] Marshall Stern: And then you followed that up with because things haven't always been freaking fantastic or freaking fabulous. Reminds me actually, it reminds me, quick story, it reminds me of a coach I used to have. It was – I'll say it. It was a Tony Robbins coach, one of his coaches. This is about 10 years ago.

[00:05:53] And I, I let her go after about five, six months. It had nothing to do with Tony. It was her. But every conversation- 

[00:06:02] Stephanie Gross: I feel like there's a lot of trauma in the back of this story, but…

[00:06:04] Marshall Stern:, Yeah. Every, every conversation... No, he's really good. Every conversation started with, she'd get on the call and she'd go, "How are you, Marshall?"

[00:06:14] I'd go, "I'm fine. How are you?" And she'd go, "I'm super-duper fantastic," every single time. Like, it was so scripted. So, when you said, when you said it the way you did, it's like I w- kind of like, oh, trauma, flashback, PTSD. 

[00:06:27] Stephanie Gross: But I really mean it. I- ... because I, I did not answer it like that a few months ago. 

[00:06:32] Marshall Stern: No, I know.

[00:06:33] And we talked, we've talked before. And she would say it every time for six months, like every week for six months. And then one day, about four months in, five months in, I just said, "Really? Are you?" She goes, "Am I what?" I said, "Are you really super-duper fantastic?" And that was pretty much the end of, the downfall of our relationship. It – 

[00:06:50] Stephanie Gross: You got to be authentic, you know? You have to be authentic. Sometimes it's, it's, you know, sometimes we're tired, sometimes we're overwhelmed. And I absolutely love what I'm doing, and, and it's hard, and it's great, and, and, and, and right now I'm feeling pretty on top of the world, so I'm ready.

[00:07:05] Marshall Stern: So why... Here's a question for you, and I want to hear your Stern Truth. Why are you freaking fantastic now? Why are you feeling that, that euphoria now because, based on where you were? Like, what is, what was it that... How'd you get out of whatever you were in before? What did you do to get to this point? Because it just doesn't happen. 

[00:07:24] Stephanie Gross: No. No, it doesn't just happen at all. Actually, I just, I just got goosebumps. I'm so excited about... I'm just... Well, I'm an enthusiastic, excited, passionate person just in general. That is my authentic Stern Truth, and I've definitely been standing in my way far more than I want to admit to myself.

[00:07:44] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:07:45] Stephanie Gross:  I was asked the question a little while ago, you know, about the entrepreneurship journey and how did you decide to be an entrepreneur, and I don't think... There's very few people that I think decide to be an entrepreneur. It's just you're, you're born that way, or it just all of a sudden, you look back and realize that you've been doing it for a while.

[00:08:03] It's, you know. So I... There's a couple of funny stories that I, I usually share when I kind of... That origin story. So, one was my mom asked me when I think I was four or five if I, I wanted to move to Japan. And I paused for a second and thought about it, which I, I do. That's in my nature, to pause for a second and think about it.

[00:08:23] And then I said, "Yeah, okay. I'm, I'm ready." And, and then I started crying a little bit, and she said, "What's the matter?" I said, "Well, I'll, I'll go, but I'll miss you." And I was, like, five or six. I was ready. I was ready to move to Japan on my own. And it's just, I've just always been kind of challenge accepted.

[00:08:41] I'm just ready to go. I was... I love sushi and seafood, and I'm like this, I, my, my background of knowing Japan was a five-year-old watching cartoons, so I was just ready to go. And when I was selling Girl Guide cookies, this similar, they, we went around. We – they drove us to, like, the affluent neighborhood, and we were selling our Girl Guide cookies.

[00:09:00] And one girl that I did not like very much went up and sold all of her entire case to one house. Like, not just a box, like the whole case of boxes of cookies. And I was just so jealous that it was so easy for her, and I went home, and it wasn't, it was luck of the draw. She, like, that person was waiting for the Girl Guide to get to the door.

[00:09:20] And I remember I got home and, and I told my mom about it, and she's like, "Don't worry about it. You don't have to sell them all. It's okay." And I was, and I, I was young, and I said, "No, I'm just jealous that it was so easy for her. I will sell all of my cookies. I will go door to door, and if they say no, I will just knock on the next door."

[00:09:37] I mean, these are the words that came out of my mouth. So, I mean, I've just always been like that. And so my whole journey to, to get to where I am now, it was just a very organic, this is what I'm meant to do and has always been, and I've just always been about finding the most efficient, effective ways of doing whatever job I've been in as well.

[00:09:57] You know, getting promoted or... When my first job was at Dairy Queen and I knew, like, the price of two peanut butter parfaits, like, by memory, and I could have them at the drive-through window before they even drove up because it was a game. Life was a game for me. So, when I started my entrepreneurship journey, it was just really, you know, it followed through with all of that.

[00:10:18] And I think that going through all of that, and then when I started the business, my son, who was little and, well, a newborn, and,  I wanted to make, I wanted to cloth diaper him, and I couldn't find cloth diapers at the time. It was the beginning of internet shopping, so I made some because challenge accepted, you know?

[00:10:37] And I thought, well, I was in Fort McMurray. I, I don't know if your listeners are familiar with the area, but, the oil sands in up Northern Alberta, and I always make the joke that you're either busy working or busy, busy making money or busy making babies. 

[00:10:54] Marshall Stern: Mm-hmm. 

[00:10:54] Stephanie Gross: There's a really great mom and parent, parent community up there for sure.

[00:10:59] So I thought I could... There's a market for, for diaper covers, so, or diapers, and that's where I started my business before we moved down to Red Deer where I am now. So, I just, it just all felt very... And then, so to answer your question- I started the business, son was born, focused on the family, and then COVID happened, and we had...

[00:11:19] I have this amazing team. My staff are amazing. My customers are amazing. We've been running for a really long time, and it was small, and it was meant to be small. The whole point was to put food on the table of the women that worked with me and for my family, but also to focus on our kids. Like, that was the goal.

[00:11:37] And, and there was a lot of challenges that happened along the road, and then, but the kids are graduated now. All of the children are graduated except for the two youngest that are in grade 11 of the staff, like mine and, and Becky on the team, and they just don't really need us as much anymore. And I...

[00:11:56] You know, the tariffs hit, and it was hard even though we're duty-free, and the tariffs shouldn't have impacted us as much as they did. But it just created so much instability. Like, what's going to happen if I ship a package, and are the clients going to get taxes, and what's going to happen, and just the economic instability in general.

[00:12:13] So, and I remember at the beginning of, of the fall season, which is usually our, our wool season, we're busy at that time, it wasn't as busy as I expected. My son's gone off to university, first year of university, and we're not busy, and I'm just looking around going, "I have built this amazing business that I am very proud of, with some amazing women, amazing customers, and we're not busy."

[00:12:38] And it's... And I asked myself, "What am I doing?" Like, I can't imagine closing down. But, like this... But this isn't working. Like, nothing is working. I felt like I was on the wrong path. I was having an existential crisis. This is when I met Kelly. Like, I was having a bit of a nervous breakdown, and I was just – and we're talking September area.

[00:13:00] So I stopped, and I paused, and I got out of the river that I was in, and I just... Like, this isn't working. I can't... This path is not taking me where I want to go. So, I got out of the river and, if you will, and then I, I looked around and just thought about, what do I like to do? Why am I doing it? Listened to some podcasts.

[00:13:21] And really went deep into what we're doing and how we're doing it, and,  I got into another river, and it was a river I'm supposed to be in, and it's the river that I started with the Girl Guide cookies and, you know, like, it's the river I'm supposed to be in in that path. And granted, I've learned a lot of things, and I could have gotten in there earlier, but now, like, everything is just so much easier.

[00:13:41] Like, I'm getting invited to – I got invited to the local, the Red Deer Polytechnic, it's our, our college, and I got invited to a breakfast this morning to talk about things, and Alberta Women Entrepreneur group invited me to be a keynote speaker last week.  I'm getting invited by amazing people to do podcasts, such as yourself.

[00:13:59] And just being engaged with the community and what we're doing and, and, like, just everything is just... I made some really big goals, and I had already accomplished all of them by the middle of January, like, my annual goals. 

[00:14:11] Marshall Stern: Wow. 

[00:14:12] Stephanie Gross:And so, I just set some new goals that are big goals, and I'm just going to keep on trucking towards them and, yeah, it's just fun.

[00:14:19] You know, it's, it was so hard, and it was like just pulling myself, just bobbing along this river barely swimming, and then, and, and drowning. And now it's like it's just a lot more fun, so I'm just really fan-freaking-tastic. 

[00:14:32] Marshall Stern: Going to call... That's what I'm calling the episode, fan-freaking-tastic. So, I love what you've said because whether it's a river, I love the river analogy because you're going down the river, right?

[00:14:43] Going down the river, or path, okay? 

[00:14:45] Stephanie Gross: Mm-hmm. 

[00:14:46] Marshall Stern: But it's so – like, what you said is so true. You know, and I always- Think of this for myself and my own journey, okay? Because I had a business for 29 years before... Well, I started coaching 14 years ago, but another business I sold t- two years ago, almost three years ago now, sign, sign and printing company.

[00:15:01] And at times it was really, really hard, and I had to ask myself why. And I realized, and for a lot of my clients that I coach, and you've realized that, and for our listeners I want you to think about this, when it's so hard, like constant, not just like,  once in a while, like this week or, this month or whatever, but just consistently hard, ask yourself, are you on the right river or the right path?

[00:15:28] Stephanie Gross: Mm-hmm. 

[00:15:28] Marshall Stern: Because it's like when we're trying to, you know, that door, we're trying to open that door and it's jammed, and you're just like, you just keep... Okay, I'm just going to bust that door down, and you try to, but it's, it shouldn't- 

[00:15:38] Stephanie Gross: And it's a brick wall, and your fingers are –

[00:15:39] Marshall Stern: A brick wall ... 

[00:15:40] Stephanie Gross: bloody and, yeah. 

[00:15:41] Marshall Stern: Right?

[00:15:42] Because it is so much easier when you're on the right path. Everything makes sense. It doesn't mean it's not, not, not easy, and there's no work, but it's different, right? 

[00:15:53] Stephanie Gross: Absolutely. I mean, today I've been running off my feet, and I got up at 6:00 o'clock so I could go to this breakfast thing, and then I have, you know, meetings all day, and making things and doing things and...

[00:16:04] But it's fun, and it, so it's easier because it's so much fun and it's what I want to do. Somebody said, you know, "Ask yourself what's the worst that could happen?" 

[00:16:14] And the worst, that thing that I could think of was that I closed the door and said, "Nice to meet you," and let, "The last 18 years have been really fun.

[00:16:22] That was a good ride," and shut her down. That's the worst thing that could happen to me with, with what I'm doing. Quitting is not an option, and, yeah. I mean, so pivot whatever we need to pivot, but, I mean, I just can't even imagine not doing what I'm doing. So yeah, failing was not an option. So, I mean, there's just getting into a different...

[00:16:40] And not saying the river, the path, what have you, isn't necessarily the job or the whatever, it's just how we're engaging with it, I guess is my point. 

[00:16:49] Marshall Stern: Yeah. Yeah. No, no. You embrace it or fight it, and the fight, like the fight or flight, right? Well, the flight would be like closing up, right? And then the fight, which you can only fight for so long, but sometimes it's just the wrong path.

[00:17:03] Now, it doesn't mean it's the wrong business. And that people get that mistaken, right? And for some people it is maybe, or maybe it's the wrong clients, or maybe it's the wrong direction of the business, which is I think more... And some of the activities, and that's what I like to have my clients focus on.

[00:17:19] Sometimes when we're pushing so hard, we're pushing because we're doing the wrong stuff. 

[00:17:23] Stephanie Gross: And I think that's where that pause and really actively think, and that was one of the, I think the biggest things. I, I always say your greatest strengths are also your greatest weaknesses. And that happens so often in movies and TV shows.

[00:17:36] It's such a common theme, and it's about being in control and, and strategic about what your mind, what you're thinking about, what you're feeding your mind, and how you're engaging with those thoughts. And are you reacting to the emotions and the thoughts, or are you witnessing them? And then, and then thinking about why, you know, just because something feels right or feels like the – you know, that's when you get stuck in those paths of the cycle of over and over and over again.

[00:18:05] It's like, "Okay, I'm going to follow my guts." Well, sometimes your guts are leading you down the wrong path. Like, you need to be strategic about what you're thinking, what you're feeding your mind, and, and yeah. So, training our guts. 

[00:18:18] Marshall Stern: Okay. Oh, you bring up a really good point, but how do you know if it's your- 

[00:18:22] Stephanie Gross: That's the question of ages, isn't it?

[00:18:24] Marshall Stern: Right? 

[00:18:24] Stephanie Gross: Yeah. 

[00:18:24] Marshall Stern: So yeah, how do you know? Like if you... So, for our listeners, I mean, they might be resonate, "Yeah, I, I feel that. I'm, I'm like, whatever it is, I'm putting money in ad spend, you know, in advertising and I'm like, I'm just pushing. I'm LinkedIn. I'm outreach to constantly to, to people and to this, or I'm going to all the networking events, and it just feels so hard.

[00:18:44] And I'm just trying, trying, trying." Whatever it is, whatever our business is, how do you know if we're follow – if our gut is telling us the right things, if we're... If it's... And this is a big question, right? 

[00:18:56] Stephanie Gross: Mm-hmm. 

[00:18:57] Marshall Stern: Is it our belief system? Like, when do we trust ourselves and our gut or- 

[00:19:02] Stephanie Gross: And that, that's such a, a big question.

[00:19:04] And in my opinion, I, I mean, I've been feeding... We are what we feed ourselves, right? And I, I think our mind as well. And, you know, the whole thing of we are what we eat, and I think the same thing goes for our mindset. And so, I, I found people and, and things that didn't just resonate, but also made sense and agreed.

[00:19:22] It was in alignment with my, my core values of what- 

[00:19:25] Marshall Stern: Okay ... 

[00:19:26] Stephanie Gross: what I want to do and when I... You know, the big why, right? Like Simon Sinek always talks about the why, and I, I agree with most of what he says and, not all. But if you can whittle it down as to why you're doing what you're doing, and that can transcend, it's not just about your business, but it's about your life.

[00:19:44] And, like, my big why is about, and however lofty it is, and it may sound silly, but it's my truth, is I, I want my legacy and I want my... I want to have a positive impact on the world for being here. Yeah. Like, what's the point of being here if you don't make the world a better place for being here? You know?

[00:20:03] And I mean that authentically. And so, I, I try to uplift and empower the people around me to, to go chase their dreams and, and, you know, my kids are doing amazing and, and my husband's doing amazing and, and I think it's just this, this energy of, of, like, go for it. Like, I remember asking my son, like, "What's the big dream for when you go to school?"

[00:20:23] And, and now he's, he's totally nailing it doing nuclear engineering in Ontario. And I'm so proud of him, and I'm so proud of the kids in, in... or, like, the business kids, you know? And, and some of my clients, you know, I talk to them about things and, and they share their stories, and it's like, "Just go for it.

[00:20:42] Don't let fear stand in your way." And I think that just kind of builds around the whole business and, I don't even know what my point was. It's gone. But I just think, you know, if, if you're... I know what it was. It's just about if you, if you have it centered in your mind why you're doing what you're doing, then whatever vehicle is that you're choosing, it just makes it so much easier to answer that question too. 

[00:21:01] And if it's not driving you towards that, then maybe you should be doing something else. And, and just getting out and thinking, like, thinking about it for a minute instead of reacting. 

[00:21:11] Marshall Stern: Yeah.

[00:21:11] Stephanie Gross: You know? 

[00:21:12] Marshall Stern: That's- 

[00:21:12] Stephanie Gross: Be strategic. And, and it's hard to do that. It's pra- you have to practice it. 

[00:21:16] Marshall Stern: I think... So, so here's my take on it. I agree. And I'm all about the why. More the way you put it that... I mean, Simon's awesome, and it's all comes from... I mean, the why was around before him, but he really reinvented the why. 

[00:21:30] But with my clients, like I'm always saying, you have to get clear on your why. Why you do this thing. First, there's two whys, and we forget the first one all the time. Why, why do you start your business? Most of us forget why we started. Was it freedom? Freedom of time. You know, like the whole thing.

[00:21:48] Freedom of time, freedom of money, all that kind of stuff. Because- because we don't know be – We don't know better.

[00:21:53] Stephanie Gross: You don’t get rich right away. 

[00:21:54] Marshall Stern: And you ha- and you're working, like, longer hours for, like, less money. 

[00:21:56] Stephanie Gross: I know. 

[00:21:56] Marshall Stern: No vacations, no dental plan, working for a psycho boss, right? Which is ourselves.

[00:22:01] Stephanie Gross: Exactly. Yeah. 

[00:22:02] Marshall Stern: So, but there has to be deeper, deeper why. And if, and, and I always say, like we just said, if you can... if it can be... it has to be in alignment with your... personal why has to be in alignment with your business why. 

[00:22:12] Stephanie Gross: Yes, absolutely. 

[00:22:13] Marshall Stern: Has to be. And I fought with that with my other company for the longest time.

[00:22:19] I wasn't really sure what my why was with my sign company, but I had a personal why, and it weren't necessarily... it wasn't, like, totally out of alignment. I really wasn't sure what my why for my sign business was, right? But when I started to get clear on my why, that's when I started actually coaching, and that's when I fell in love with this whole –  

[00:22:37] Stephanie Gross: Even your whole face shifted. You were talking about one, and then you're like, "Hmm, but this, this..." 

[00:22:41] Marshall Stern: And that's, and my why is just, it's a why. It's my why. It's not on my website ... 

[00:22:47] Stephanie Gross: And what's your – what about business coaching do you love? Like, what's the why behind the business coaching? 

[00:22:51] Marshall Stern: It's the same. It's my why. It's just inspire and empower people to be them – be themselves, be their best selves, live their best life, achieve what they want to achieve.

[00:23:00] Go after their dreams. That, it's to inspire and empower. And so, in my other business and my coaching business and my community work, I'm on a nonprofit. I'm, I'm on a nonprofit. I'm on a board of a nonprofit, and my family, and my friends, that's my job, just inspower.

[00:23:16] Stephanie Gross: Inspower. Either way, you made a new word. I love it. 

[00:23:17] Marshall Stern: Made a very new word. But inspire and empower. And I remember seeing Oprah years ago in Vancouver... well, I didn't really see her. I saw her on the big screen because we were up in the nosebleeds and she was, like, this big. But she was- 

[00:23:29] Stephanie Gross: But you were there.

[00:23:30] Marshall Stern: I was there. I was in the same building. And she even said, she said, and this was a – when I went on my journey. I went on my sort of self-discovery why journey, and she said, she believes that everyone's, everyone has a purpose in life. And she says, "I believe our real job..." You can have a job as a firefighter, as a stay-at-home parent, as this, whatever.

[00:23:51] But our real job is to find out our why, our purpose. Why are we on this earth? 

[00:23:59] And if, if you can monetize that, great. You don't have to monetize it. Your why could be, or your purpose could be something else. And I, I, like, searched forever, "What's my why? What's my passion?" I took a... I've talked about, I've talked about this before.

[00:24:12] There's a book called The Passion Test, and there's all these books about finding your passion and you don't have to monetize your passion necessarily, but you need to be passionate about what you do. 

[00:24:22] Stephanie Gross: Yeah. 

[00:24:23] Marshall Stern: Okay? 

[00:24:23] Stephanie Gross: And it, it, it sounds like a, almost like a, a catch-all thing of, like, if you love what you do, then you never work a day in your life.

[00:24:29] Marshall Stern: 100%, yep. 

[00:24:30] Stephanie Gross: But when you're feeling it, it's so true. 

[00:24:32] Marshall Stern: It's true. People say, "What do you mean?" Well, it's all work. 

[00:24:35] Stephanie Gross: It's not work. It's, it's all work. It's a game. It's just a beautiful game. Like, my customers, I, I encourage them to message me, and I even say, "If, if I'm unavailable, my phone is turned to silent, so you can message me 24/7."

[00:24:47] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:24:48] Stephanie Gross: And I mean it, because I love what I'm doing, and I, and it's, it's just a, it's just a big, beautiful thing, and, and I, I want them to talk to me and feel comfortable to do it on their own terms. And then I respond when I can respond. Sometimes it's immediately, and sometimes it's the next day. But it's, yeah, it's, it's not work.

[00:25:05] It's like I'm not going to tell my friend to not message me because I might be having dinner. If I'm having dinner, I'm not going to answer you, you know? 

[00:25:12] Marshall Stern: Right. 

[00:25:12] Stephanie Gross: But yeah. 

[00:25:13] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:25:14] Stephanie Gross: Yeah. 

[00:25:14] Marshall Stern: So, no, so I, so I totally buy... I, I think it's so important to, and that really takes us back to the original topic about the wrong river, wrong path.

[00:25:22] Because if you're not, if it's not congruent or in line with your why, right, that, our why will... If we follow our why... Okay, bear with me for a second. I'm going to say this, but does it make sense? If we follow our why... I know it makes sense, but if we follow our why and our what, so our what is what we want to build, okay?

[00:25:40] So, you've been in this business 18 years, right? I had my sign company 29 years. But if you know what you want to create, whatever that is, even if it's for your family. 

[00:25:48] Stephanie Gross: Mm-hmm. 

[00:25:48] Marshall Stern: If you know what you want, clarity. Clarity is power. So, if you're clear on your what, get on that boat, that raft, whatever.

[00:25:54] Get on the river. You'll be on the right river if you continue to be clear and, and check in every now and then. Am I following my why and my what? 

[00:26:05] Stephanie Gross: Mm-hmm. 

[00:26:06] Marshall Stern: Then you know you're on the right path. 

[00:26:08] Stephanie Gross: And, and I think the, the thing about where I wasn't on the right path, and I, I said I wasn't in the right river, and it, it wasn't because the, the work that I was doing was wrong or misaligned, because it all was still the thing that I was doing was I forgot to take into account the life that was around me.

[00:26:28] Aand I mean, my definition of success has pivoted because my definition of success was to be available for my family,  whenever they needed me and to just be present with my family. You know, like I said, like, the phones are off at dinner.

[00:26:45] We have dinner together every night, and school assemblies. I even volunteered at the school as the, like, the lunch lady kind of thing, and I did all those things because I wanted to do those things. I chose to do them, and I wanted to be there, and they were more important than business and, and growing the business.

[00:27:01] It was sustaining the business without growth because that's – 

[00:27:04] If it grew too much, then it would take away from my why, which was to look after my family – 

[00:27:08] Marshall Stern: Right ... 

[00:27:08] Stephanie Gross: because they were integral. And then also allowing the flexibility for my team to have that same space so that, you know, my team, if they're like, "I, I need to take tomorrow off," yes.

[00:27:20] Like, I don't even need to know why. I, I trust them that they're, you know, I don't even need to know why. They don't want to come to work, then you don't need to come to work. Like, you have a reason, and I trust you.  almost like a, you know, almost like a joke, if you will, but not at all. Very seriously, it was a, you know.

[00:27:36] And then it all shifted in September, and I was standing in my way, the, of, of taking those next steps to going, "Okay, this, this, I'm ready for the growth," and it was almost – like the whole business was crumbling or just stalling so that I could go, "Whoa, I really need to do some other things." 

[00:27:56] Marshall Stern: Mm-hmm. 

[00:27:56] Stephanie Gross: So, and I was...

[00:27:58] I went and I, I did a local trade show, and I did another one in Edmonton, and I was talking and sharing our story, and it was so beautiful for me to, to meet some new people that are locals and go, "How have I not heard of you? You've been around for so long, and I've never even heard of your business before."

[00:28:13] And it made me go, "Oh, yeah, I guess I haven't been engaged with my community." And so, then I and then I reached out to all these connections that I've been building over the years, and they're all like, "You're still here. You're amazing. This is so cool what you're doing. Here's some help. Here's some help, and here's some help."

[00:28:29] And to the, like I'm, I'm mentoring students. I have, I think like 10 now of the students that are working for me, and, and they're so excited what they're doing. I'm sharing their stories on LinkedIn. They're doing good work and, and like, so I love that aspect of what I'm doing. And I'm fixing like all of these jobs, all these, sorry, all these projects that I had in my business, I just kept on getting them like 80% done.

[00:28:52] I don't tend to finish things, and my staff are great for filling in those gaps, like that's what we... Like, they're not like super creative people because the whole building would explode if we had another one of me in there, but I have these really nice, good, calm, methodical people that fill in those gaps for me.

[00:29:06] Strengths, weaknesses, right? 

[00:29:08] Marshall Stern: Oh, yeah. 

[00:29:08] Stephanie Gross: And, yeah, so we're just ready to, to build and explode, and we have all these cool things happening, and it's like all... I, I've been, I'm, I've realized, I'm like, okay, this, this was, everything was okay for the sustainability of the business where we were, but now we're on growth mode.

[00:29:24] So now I'm like, okay, finish. I'm, so I'm actually hiring some people or finding people to fill in those gaps to finish that last 10, 20%, and that's like pivoting everything, and I'm just so freaking excited for what's going to happen this year because it's all just... It's like these 18 years of just put everything together.

[00:29:45] Marshall Stern: It's freaking awesome. 

[00:29:46] Stephanie Gross: It's freaking awesome. 

[00:29:47] Marshall Stern: About freaking – this is the theme for today's episode. 

[00:29:49] Stephanie Gross: Fan-freaking-tastic. Yeah, no, but it my, because my, my purpose, like, it, like the, the why hasn't shifted – 

[00:29:55] Marshall Stern: Yeah ... 

[00:29:55] Stephanie Gross: But just the what, you know, the, the how has shifted. 

[00:29:58] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:29:59] Stephanie Gross: And, and I was, like, behind it, and then I stopped and thought and went, "Oh, never mind- 

[00:30:04] Marshall Stern: Well, if you-

[00:30:04] Stephanie Gross: I'll go this way" ... 

[00:30:05] Marshall Stern: if you forget about the why, sorry, if you forget about, because you never forgot about the why, if you forget about the what, if you're not really clear on the what, then you're, you might be on, going back to the river analogy, you might be on the right river, but you're not going anywhere.

[00:30:19] Stephanie Gross: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:30:20] Marshall Stern: Right? So what is the fricking Stern Truth then, okay? Or so if you can give, before we go, if you can give one with all this, this – 

[00:30:29] Stephanie Gross: I'm going to see if there's anything in my notes here. Yeah. One Stern Truth. 

[00:30:33] Marshall Stern: Steen –  well, a Stern – like, a golden nugget to give to our listeners if they might be on the wrong river.

[00:30:41] Stephanie Gross: I, I think just, just paraphrasing what I said before of knowing your strengths and knowing your weaknesses, checking your ego at the door, having a stern conversation with yourself going, "Okay, this is, these are the things I'm good at. Let me enhance those. These are the things that I struggle with. These are the things that I, I suck at."

[00:30:59] So either you need to find solutions to that, so either finding people or systems or, you know, if you are constantly forgetting things, figure out some sort of automated note taker or, like, fill in the gaps of your weaknesses and,  but you have to own your weaknesses and own your, your gut reaction to stuff so that otherwise you'll never get out of that cycle of being, that, that rut that you're in will, you cannot get out of it unless you recognize what your gut's telling you to do and, and looking at it from a different perspective and owning it.

[00:31:33] Owning, like, and putting your ego aside and owning it. That's, that's, that's what I think, and that's been the biggest thing that has pivoted my head in a good way. In a good way. because I can also own my successes and my strengths too with my ego at the door. It comes both ways. 

[00:31:47] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:31:48] Stephanie Gross: Like, how, how empowering is that?

[00:31:50] Marshall Stern: Okay, so let's talk before I go, because one more thing. You talk about ego. You said, mentioned that word a few times. What do you mean by check your ego at the door? Well, how, how does not checking your ego, how did it prevent you from moving forward do you think?

[00:32:04] Stephanie Gross: I think that some people have a tendency to be over egotistical and some people under, and that's where you get into the imposter syndrome.

[00:32:13] It's like, "I don't deserve those things. I'm not good enough to do that. People won't like me or they'll reject me," all those things. I think that that all ties into ego, like a poor self ego. And then also with, you know, going, "I, I can handle this on my own. I'm a lone wolf. I don't need help."  I can do anything.

[00:32:33] I'm the best that it's ever going to be, and I'm never going to... Like, I don't need to learn something. Like, there's always be, like, the perpetual learner. The, you know, always learning something new and open to ideas and... But as long as it's aligning with your why, it's so much easier to do that. You know, the whole celery test thing and…

[00:32:51] If you, if you, you're getting ideas from other things, and then you need to filter them. And if they're... It, it's so easy to say yes, no, yes, no when you take your ego and your emotions out of it, and it's also aligned with where you're, where you're going and why you're doing what you're doing. And it just makes all this data that's flying at you so much easier to process, right?

[00:33:14] Does that make sense what I'm saying? 

[00:33:15] Marshall Stern: No, 100%. I, I love it. Because I always say, I always say to people, to be stopping so... People who I come in contact with that they think it's a limiting belief. They don't want to do direct, like, outreach. They don't want to go to a trade show. They don't want to go to a networking event, a networking group.

[00:33:31] They don't want to bother people. They don't... They're, they're scared to put themselves out there, okay? Get out in the community. They're, they're afraid to do that. And I always say, "Well, you're being egocen-" 

[00:33:42] Stephanie Gross Why? 

[00:33:42] Marshall Stern: You're – well, why? But I know they're being ego-centered, brings ego into it. 

[00:33:47] Marshall Stern: And they look at me like, "What are you talking about?

[00:33:49] It's, it's far from it. I'm not... I don't think I'm that wonderful. I'm in fact the opposite." Well, that's just it. You're thinking too much about yourself. Stop thinking so much about yourself. Start thinking about your people, whether it's your customers, your staff, your family. Be of service to people.

[00:34:04] Get the hell off your ass, Stern Truth, and get out there because they need you. They need your product, or they need your service or whatever it is. Stop being the – you're being the bottleneck in everything. 

[00:34:17] Stephanie Gross: Mm-hmm. 

[00:34:17] Marshall Stern: Right? So yeah, everything you said, 100%. 

[00:34:21] Stephanie Gross: And I think if you're coming from a perspective of, like, I'm not out there to sell stuff or to go make money, because that's not my why at all.

[00:34:28] The product and service that we offer, like, there are, there are customers that they'll tell me that, like, their kid is going into surgery, and they ask them, "What's, what do you want to bring with you for comfort?" And the only thing that they wanted to bring with them that they thought of was pants that we made for them.

[00:34:44] Because they feel so comfortable and wrapped in this warm, woolly softness, you know? Where... Or when a, somebody else said to me that they went into a business meeting that they were really nervous about, and I made them an outfit, and they just felt so, like, put together. It fit them well. They love the color.

[00:35:03] And then because I care, I genuinely care about what we're doing for people and, and that relationship with people. I know kids' names, and husbands' names, and what they do for work, and, you know, all those sorts of things. And, and it's not because I'm trying to sell them something, it's because I, I just, I like people and I care.

[00:35:20] So they felt supported going into that meeting. Like, they felt this community around them. 

[00:35:26] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:35:26] Stephanie Gross: And so, I, I came to terms with, like, when I'm sharing my business, it's not about trying to make more money, it's about, like, it's... I'm, I'm giving the service of my amazing product that makes people's lives easier and better.

[00:35:40] And it's a, it's a gift. And, and I'm... If I'm not getting it out there, then I'm holding joy back from other people. I mean, I... And I... And it's not coming from, like, a self-ego sort of a way. It's just more of, like, this is, this is fan-freaking-tastic, the business I have. 

[00:35:54] Like, it's so... It's, it's an important thing to share with the world. We're making ethical... Like, I'm manufacturing in Alberta. Like, we actually make the clothing here. We're making good product. I treat my staff really well, and the... And we do free alterations and repairs. So, we're reducing our global waste. I... Like, global waste and textile waste is one of the biggest polluters on our planet.

[00:36:14] So I'm very passionate about doing that. Like, we just got a box of wool that I had made 10 years ago, and we're doing free pretty much... Like, I mean, it's costing us money pretty much to repair them, because I don't want them to go into the landfill. So, I mean, it's good for me to get my business out there, and I am just very passionate about it.

[00:36:32] Marshall Stern: Well, Stef, this has been a fan-freaking-tastic episode. Thank you so much. Anything else you – any, anything else you want to share before we let our freaking amazing listeners go? 

[00:36:44] Stephanie Gross: Other than I'm really excited... Not excited, sorry. That's not the word I want to say. I am very honored that you invited me to be one of your guests, or accepted my self-invitation, because I did approach you, to be on your podcast.

[00:36:55] And I've been really enjoying listening to all of the podcasts, because I made sure that I listened to what – 

[00:37:00] Marshall Stern: Oh, you're the one. You're the one. 

[00:37:02] Stephanie Gross: No. Don't say that. There's been lots of people listening to. And, if anybody wants to reach out to learn more about wool, we are posting a lot of videos on YouTube and talking more about, you know...

[00:37:14] And positioning myself as the wool expert out there, and learning as much as I can, getting nerdy and science-y about things. Any business development things, connect with me on LinkedIn, and I'm sure that you'll put all those wonderful links in the, the comments…

[00:37:28] Marshall Stern: Yes ... 

[00:37:28] Stephanie Gross: of the podcast. And I look forward to continuing our journey on these wonderful rivers together.

[00:37:35] Marshall Stern: Yes, absolutely. Thank you. And for the rest of you, I want to hear your feedback. I want to hear your comments. Are you... And, and I want to know, are... Do you think you're on the right river? Comment below, like, share, give us a five-star podcast review so other people can find this amazing episode, just like you have.

[00:37:55] Thank you, Stephanie. Thank you, everyone. We'll see you again next week on another episode of The Stern Truth Business Unfiltered.

[00:38:04] Marshall Stern: Thank you so much for tuning in to the Stern Truth. If you found today's episode helpful, we would love to hear from you. Please like, share, and leave us a review. Also, if you'd like to be a guest in an upcoming episode or join us in one of our momentum accountability group sessions, simply email me to marshall@marshallstern.net. 

[00:38:25] That's marshall@marshallstern.net. And don't forget to hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode. Until next time, keep pushing forward and leading with confidence.