Ep. 42 The Stern Truth: How Saying NO Can Grow Your Business

Before I recorded this episode, I was in a Momentum Accountability group session. This group of business owners always amazes me with their support and their stories. This session was no different and actually had me change gears about the topic of the episode.

The conversation we had was around time blocking, boundaries, and being intentional with your time. Specifically, saying “no.”

One of our members was having to cancel plans to service their client. This member didn’t want to say “no” because they thought they were missing out on an opportunity. 

The Stern Truth is, if we’re always saying “yes” to everything, it prevents us from getting where we want to be. It pulls us in the opposite direction. We overpromise. We overcommit. And then we burn out. 

My own golden nugget that I always come back to is, what’s your why? Why did you start your business? Flexibility, or maybe freedom? How flexible or free are you if you’re always saying “yes”?

It is possible to say “no” and still transform your business. The next time an opportunity comes up, ask yourself if it’s in line with what you truly want, knowing what fits. That's having a real business mindset.

Our Momentum Accountability is a group of incredible, supportive business owners that meets twice a month. For more information, visit https://attractwell.com/MarshallStern/page/momentum

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Transcript

[00:00:00] All right gang, so this is this very special impromptu, I guess you can say episode. I've changed gears of what I was going to talk about because earlier today we had an amazing, powerful Momentum group session. So having said that, if, check out this episode, grab your pad of paper and pen if you want to be a guest.

[00:00:19] If you want to come and check out Momentum, which is our group coaching and accountability mentorship program, send me a message. Enjoy this episode again. Grab your paper and pen, get ready because you are going to learn how saying no can completely transform your business. Enjoy.

[00:00:41] I'm Marshall Stern and I've spent over 35 years leading and growing multiple small businesses. I know firsthand the struggles of entrepreneurship, feeling isolated, lonely, overwhelmed, and feeling like you have to do it all by yourself. I've been through multiple recessions, and I have felt the highs and the lows. 

[00:01:00] This podcast is here to change that. Every week I will bring you straight talking advice, real world strategies, and honest conversations about what it takes to succeed in business without the fluff, the gimmicks, or the sugar coat it. If you're ready to stop spinning your wheels and start making real progress, then you are in the right place.

[00:01:23] This is the Stern Truth. 

[00:01:28] Hey, welcome back everyone to another episode of the Stern Truth Business Unfiltered. Alright, so here's the deal today, earlier today, we had a very powerful Momentum Mentorship Group session. Momentum is our group accountability and mentorship program that meets two times a month.

[00:01:47] It's all about accountability. It's all about mentorship. And today we had about eight business owners in the Zoom room and we had a really powerful conversation and it was all around time blocking and being intentional. And the theme really was all around saying no and boundaries. 

[00:02:06] Here's the thing, and the example given from one of our members was constantly having to cancel personal and even business, maybe even business development because clients want to meet with them, getting messages, texts, emails, requests Friday night, can we meet Saturday morning and canceling your weekend plans because you want to be of service to your client. But here's the thing, and it's the Stern Truth.

[00:02:37] If we constantly are saying yes to people – and just not people, but opportunities because people might want to collaborate with us. We had that discussion as well. The problem with that is if it's not in line with where we really, truly want to go as a business owner, it will not only prevent us from getting there, it is going to bring us back and pull us the opposite way, and it's going to affect ourselves, the commitments we have with herself.

[00:03:07] It will affect the commitments we have with our family, with our friends, with our community, possibly the commitment we have with other clients because we might start to get overwhelmed, burnt out, even resentful if we're always responding and reacting. Yes. Doesn't necessarily need to be just for a request for a meeting.

[00:03:28] It could just be responding to a text or an email because we have to do it right now. We don't have to do anything. From what I'm going to guess –  actually I'll pose this, pose this question to you. Why did you start your business in the first place? And if you're like most entrepreneurs and small business owners, one of the main reasons I'm going to guess is freedom.

[00:03:50] So ironically, the person in the group who brought up the situation about always responding and saying yes and having to cancel the personal plans, one of the reasons why she started her business was for freedom, the freedom of time. Which is ironic because what ends up happening, she's not the only one that happens with many of you listening or watching, and it's happened with me in the past, is that we end up having less freedom.

[00:04:15] Flexibility, yes. But the flexibility can be a good thing, it can also be a bad thing because if we end up working at 10 o'clock at night, 11 o'clock at night, at one in the morning, Saturdays, Sundays, and affects the people around us, there's not as much structure. So. What I want you to do, I want you to think about this past week.

[00:04:38] How did you show up? How intentional were you? Did you fall into the trap of responding and reacting and saying yes all the time? And if you did, again, you're not alone, but there's some simple tools and strategies that you can put in place and implement that will make a world of difference, not just for your business, but for your life.

[00:05:00] Here's the thing. At the end of the day, the end of our life, our last words are not, damn, I wish I had met that client at nine o'clock on Saturday morning. I wish I had canceled my weekend plans so I can meet that client. It's quite the opposite, and you know that what we say no to can transform and allow our business to grow the way we want it to grow.

[00:05:27] I'll repeat that. What we say no to can transform our business and allow it and enable it to have the opportunity to grow into what we truly, truly want. So next time you have an opportunity come your way, whether it's a meeting request, whether it's an email, whether it's a ting, a ding, a ring, whether it's an opportunity for something, simply ask yourself, is it in line with what I say that I truly want?

[00:05:56] Or is it taking away from or preventing me from? The no, however, doesn't always have to be a harsh no. Sometimes it is. If it's not in line and it's going to move you away from what you want, then it's, it's a hell no. But if somebody wants to meet you on a Saturday and they're messaging you on a Thursday or Friday, and you have already have plans, or you don't want to be meeting on a Saturday, you shouldn't have that option available anyways.

[00:06:18] And that's about boundaries. But you could simply respond back, unfortunately, I'm not available on Saturday, but I would be more than happy to meet you on Monday. Or if your business does – here's the thing, if your business requires weekend work, then take the time off during the week and have those commitments, the personal commitments, and not just that business development.

[00:06:42] Because the problem with so many of us is we end up becoming an employee of our own business. And we respond and we say, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes to everyone around us. And we say no to what is the most important thing, which is ourselves, our family, and our own business, our own business growth. So block the time, the easiest way to manage the noise is to time block.

[00:07:10] If you want to have a discussion on that, reach out to me. If you want to come to a Momentum session happens two times a month on Mondays, reach out to me, email me. My contact info is below. Momentum page is below. Let's be intentional with what we want to build. Let's not get caught up in always saying yes and responding and reacting.

[00:07:32] Yes, there's a time for client work focusing in the business, but we have to also block the time for on it work, going to networking events, contacting, reaching out to past clients or prospects. Whatever business development looks like you creating, whatever business development looks like you, we need to block that time for it and respect the block.

[00:07:56] Again, a no. It doesn't have to be no. It could just be, no, not right now. If it is still part of your value and your mission and your vision, if people want to meet with you, it's in line with where you want to go with your business, then it might just be, no, I'm unfortunately not available Saturday at nine o'clock in the morning, but I couldn't meet you at one o'clock.

[00:08:21] That doesn't work. How about Tuesday at two? Give them options. Don't always assume that their request is carved in stone, and if you say no, you are going to be banned. They're going to put a bad Google review about you because you said no. When's the last time you tried to book an appointment with your GP, with your doctor and the time you wanted wasn't available?

[00:08:46] Still going back to the doctor? Yes. How many times have you tried to make a reservation at a restaurant on a Saturday night at seven o'clock or at Saturday night? At six o'clock in the month? Late November or in the summer. And you call on the Friday or the Thursday? What do you get? Usually, depending on the restaurant.

[00:09:02] I'm sorry. We're all full. How's nine o'clock? How's Sunday? Do you never go back to that restaurant? No. You expect it. You expect that it might be booked. They have a booking calendar. Get yourself a booking calendar, my friends. It can save you business if you don't want to have a booking calendar. Have a booking something physical online.

[00:09:28] It's really a mindset. Because the calendar's only physical. It's great if you want to share the link to the calendar. People will see when they're available, when you're available and they can book. But if that's not your business model, if that's not part of your business, sending calendar links. It's really, it's a mindset.

[00:09:44] It is a mindset. Know the hours of operation you want to work and just simply say to them and to the opportunities, I'm sorry, this is not available. This time slot is not available right now, and you know what's going to happen. I mean, here's a question for you before we wrap it up. Here's a question. If you have two business service, two companies, two service providers, you're looking to hire for the same job.

[00:10:13] One of them, you ask for meeting at a certain time and they say, yeah, whenever you're available. Yeah, sure. Come on in, come on in. And the other one says, I'm not available at this time, but I'm available the next day at this time or this time, or here's my booking link. Which one are you going to think there's more value with?

[00:10:31] The one that's ready to jump through hoops to work with you and open up their calendar? Yes, I can meet here. Oh, that doesn't work. I can meet at 10 o'clock at night. Or the one. That says, here's my calendar. I'm not available at this time, but I'm available here. Don't always think we have to say yes, say no, start to say no.

[00:10:49] It's like spring cleaning. It's cleaning out what you don't need. You don't need to be saying yes to everything, especially okay. Especially when it is breaking commitments you already have to yourself or to others. To me, that's a hard no. Not right now, but this time is available. Love to hear your comments, your thoughts.

[00:11:11] If you want to become a member or join as a guest, come as a guest to Momentum, or just simply have a deep dive one-to-one chat coaching session with me, you know where to reach me down below. Have a great week and we'll see you again next week in another episode of the Stern Truth Business Unfiltered.

[00:11:32] Bye for now.

[00:11:36] Thank you so much for tuning in to the Stern Truth. If you found today's episode helpful, we would love to hear from you. Please like, share and leave us a review. Also, if you'd like to be a guest in the upcoming episode or join us in one of our Moment Accountability Group sessions, simply email me to marshall@marshallstern.net.

[00:11:55] That's marshall@marshallstern.net. And don't forget to hit the subscribe button, so never miss an episode. Until next time, keep pushing forward and leading with confidence.