Ep. 17 The Stern Truth: Business Therapy Thursday with Aubrey Barnes

In this Business Therapy Thursday session, I sit down with Aubrey, a small business owner who runs both a digital marketing agency and a dog waste service company. As an entrepreneur managing multiple ventures, Aubrey faces a challenge that many founders know all too well – she excels at delivering for her clients but struggles with accountability when growing her own business.

The interesting psychology of why small business owners find it easier to show up for others than for themselves is something we discuss. During our conversation, Aubrey shares her journey as a founder who started her digital marketing business while recovering from cancer treatment. She shares how she's learned to navigate online business courses and the overwhelming amount of "get rich quick" schemes that flood the entrepreneur space.

Aubrey and I explore the critical difference between being lazy and lacking clarity on your "why". This important distinction is something every small business owner needs to understand because, really, they can be different sides of the same entrepreneurial coin. 

I challenge Aubrey to examine what truly drives her and help her understand that accountability isn't about laziness, but about not having a deep enough connection to her business goals.

The accountability gap holds so many small business owners back from scaling. If you find yourself procrastinating on business development and just focusing on client work, tune in to this helpful episode.

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Marshall Stern: Hi, I'm Marshall Stern and I've spent over 35 years leading and growing multiple small businesses. I know firsthand the struggles of entrepreneurship, feeling isolated, lonely, overwhelmed, and feeling like you have to do all by yourself. I've been through multiple recessions, and I have felt the highs and the lows.

[00:00:24] 've been there and I get it. This podcast is here to change that every week. I will bring you straight talking advice, real world strategies, and honest conversations about what it takes to succeed in business without the fluff, the gimmicks, or the sugar-coated. If you're ready to stop spinning your wheels and start making real progress, then you are in the right place.

[00:00:47] This is the Stern Truth. Alright, we're welcome back everyone to another. Business Therapy Thursday. And we have a very special guest this week. Aubrey, how are you? 

[00:01:01] Aubrey Barnes: Pretty good, how are you? 

[00:01:03] Marshall Stern: I'm doing, I'm doing well. I'm doing well. It's quite sunny here, which is nice. On the west coast. Mm-hmm. How about where you are?

[00:01:11] Aubrey Barnes: Very sunny. Still a little chilly, hence the beanie, but you know, it's very sunny and I'll take it. 

[00:01:17] Marshall Stern: Nice. And where are you located? 

[00:01:19] Aubrey Barnes: Currently I'm in Kansas. 

[00:01:21] Marshall Stern: Kansas. Very nice. Very nice. Okay, so this is just you and me, we're having this conversation. Tell me a little bit about your business businesses.

[00:01:32] I believe. 

[00:01:33] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. , the digital marketing business, the one you kind of met me through, through networking and, I started January of last year. It's something that I had been thinking about starting for a long time and, you know, when you look into things, you're getting bombarded with ads online of, take my course, do this thing.

[00:01:55] It's so easy. You know, I'm a mom of seven and I did it and I make a million dollars. So it just was everywhere. And, it all felt really fake. I finally found a course that I felt good about and, talked to the people that work there and just, just felt pretty good about it. So I just went for it. It was a lot harder than everyone on the internet says it would be.

[00:02:20] So, you know, that's life. But it's been good. It's been a little, challenging since then. And I took it a completely different direction than I thought. I started in Facebook ads and now I've never had any Facebook ad clients. I do Google Management and SEO work. I have about seven clients and Okay.

[00:02:44] Yeah. So it's good. 

[00:02:47] Marshall Stern: It's interesting. So you started off with the focus on, I mean, it's the tool, right? Is the Facebook Ads management. And how did you go from that to, I mean, it's all marketing, I understand that, but how'd you go from that in your toolbox to the other SEO and the Google ads? 

[00:03:03] Aubrey Barnes: Through a mutual friend who also was in the course.

[00:03:07] Chanel that you know? Okay. I was struggling with the Facebook ads with, the getting the client part. I felt like I learned a lot of different sales tactics and the, the way that I was being taught, not by one particular person, but a lot of people felt very disingenuine. I felt like I was tricking people into buying my service.

[00:03:31] Which not that you have to do, but it, it's a little messy at first because if you've never had a client, you're trying to convince somebody to spend a lot of money on you and put their faith in you, you know? So I struggled with that really hard. So then a friend introduced me to the Google and SEOI learned that, and then I used my Facebook management skills and, you know, now I'm running my own ads.

[00:03:55] For the SEO, things like that, the Google management was easy for me because you can go to businesses face to face. I think most people know somebody that owns a business or knows somebody that owns a business. It was really pretty easy to network and meet people or talk to people I already knew and get some clients to start out.

[00:04:19] Aubrey Barnes: Just genuine to me. 

[00:04:21] Marshall Stern: Yeah. And, and I like that because it's you and you're a hundred percent right. We talk about this in, in on the Stern Truth  about, and in, we've talked about some previous episodes we'll talk about in future episodes, just the whole, if I may say bullshit out there. 

[00:04:37] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:04:37] Marshall Stern: Of, not just on the marketing side, but not just marketers, but like, even like in my space, like the coaches, there are a lot of coaches that are marketers.

[00:04:47] There are a lot consultants. 

[00:04:48] Aubrey Barnes: The fortunate truth is a lot of them are pulling people's legs and they're saying all these big words that business owners either don't know or too busy to learn. And so they're like, okay, I'll, I'll put my trust in you. I'll pay you, and they leave this trail of tears, a business owners behind them.

[00:05:06] So then if you are a business, a digital marketer that really genuinely cares about these companies, they're like, I don't know. Why are you different? You know, and rightfully so. Why would they trust anybody? So it's a little hard to be a good guy. 

[00:05:21] Marshall Stern: To stand out as a good guy from all the other, all the all noise that's kind of fake.

[00:05:27] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah, yeah.

[00:05:28] Marshall Stern: Yeah, yeah. No, I get that. It's same thing, coaching space, consultant space, all of it. So what would make today's conversation really, really helpful and powerful for you? 

[00:05:40] Aubrey Barnes: I mean, I think the biggest thing I, I struggle with is accountability. And, you know, I manage multiple businesses and I have a, I have a hard time being like, I'm going to do it all.

[00:05:55] And so I end up in this place where instead of doing a lot of one thing, I do a little of two things, hence my two businesses right now where I have, you know, a little under 10 clients in each, and they're both just good enough, but neither of them are really taking off and it's, it's my fault. It's because I won't let one of them take off because I keep being like, I need the time here, I need the, you know, so I don't know if that answered your question that. 

[00:06:24] Marshall Stern: Well, yes and no. So, accountability for what? So you, right? Hmm. 

[00:06:33] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. Yeah. I guess I started with accountability and went off into a different, hmm. I struggle being accountable for my time, you know, time, time management, and getting done the little things that I need to get done. 

[00:06:51] Marshall Stern: Can I ask you a question?

[00:06:53] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:06:55] Marshall Stern: What do you want? Like, what do you want in business and in life? Like, if we could fast forward even like three years and we bumped into each other in person, I, I like to play this game. I'm, I'm down in Kansas. I have a client in Kansas as well, so - 

[00:07:11] Aubrey Barnes: Oh God. I hope I don't live in Kansas in three years. That's what I want. 

[00:07:15] Marshall Stern: Okay. Wherever you are. 

[00:07:17] Aubrey Barnes: No, I'm just kidding. It's okay. We could stick with Kansas. I'll be happy. Okay. 

[00:07:20] Marshall Stern: Okay. We're to Kansas. And I say, Hey, Aubrey, like, it's been like, what, three years since we saw each other. 

[00:07:28] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:07:28] Marshall Stern: How are things going? And you're like, just, you're beaming, like, like side to side chin.

[00:07:34] You're actually almost have tears because you're just so happy. What are you doing? What do you want? 

[00:07:40] Aubrey Barnes: I'm happy because I have more time. I still have my businesses, but I'm not fully running them. I have a dog waste company. I don't want to be doing that. I want to put the time in myself to get people, get people in, get customers, and then be able to hire an employee.

[00:08:04] So in three years I run into you and I have employees, and that business is doing well, and I run the payroll and do the admin and everything, but takes five hours a week if my work.

[00:08:15] Marshall Stern: In the dog waste company, 

[00:08:16] Aubrey Barnes: Just in the dog waste company, okay? Mm-hmm. And with the other company, with the digital marketing. I don't, I don't know if I know the answer to that.

[00:08:27] It's something that everybody says. You have to know your why. You have to know your why. My why is, is. Time management, you know, having more time. And in starting my own business, I've found that that's ironic because I do have a lot of free time and I don't utilize it well, if that makes sense. 

[00:08:52] Marshall Stern: Hence the accountability.

[00:08:53] Aubrey Barnes: Yes. So, in an ideal world, , I don't want so much time that I'm not working. I like, I like to stay busy, but I would like to have my business be busy enough that I have, you know, SOPs, like standard operating procedures so that, I have procedures to keep myself accountable. And I don't, I don't know if I have any interest in having employees for this business.

[00:09:21] I like the idea of, you know, white labeling. I have a really good network and digital marketing is something that I, you kind of can't do everything or you end up doing nothing great. But to have a, a good network of white labelers, to have a good operate standard operating procedures for myself and to be not working more than, I don't know, 15, 20 hours a week on it.

[00:09:47] Marshall Stern: So it's interesting. So you mentioned, everyone says you have to have why? You have to know what your why is. You have to know what your why is. When you hear that, because everyone talks about the why, I talk about the why as well, why and what, we're going to talk about that a little bit, but in a different way.

[00:10:03] But what, what comes to mind? Like when you hear about that, you have to know what your why is. How do you feel about that? 

[00:10:10] Aubrey Barnes: Like, how the question makes me feel or what my why actually is? 

[00:10:13] Marshall Stern: No, the question. How does the question make you feel? 

[00:10:16] Aubrey Barnes: A little overwhelmed because I think that my whys, my why has changed.

[00:10:26] And maybe I don't know the answer or if an answer comes to mind. It seems, like, like if you say, what is your why? And I'm like, oh, I want to make a lot of money. For some reason that seems ridiculous to me. Mm-hmm. I don't know, because my, yeah, it's just a confusing question to me because I don't think I know fully what the why is.

[00:10:52] Marshall Stern: Okay. Because this all really goes into the accountability. Because if you don't, and this is not putting pressure on you because it is a process. So I talk about this, I can't remember which episode, I went through searching for my why. I didn't know it was the why, because that wasn't the term. Simon Sinek hadn't made it the big term yet.

[00:11:14] This was in mid two thousands. And I was trying to find out my passion. Before the why came, the passion, and there was the Passion Test, which was a famous book, and there was programs. I took it all I was trying to find, and I had a business, I had at that point my signed business, which I started in 94.

[00:11:31] But I wasn't completely fulfilled. And so I was trying to figure out what's my next step? What's my passion? That was the big thing, it took me a while and it was frustrating. So when it comes to the why, here's why the why is so important to get on a path to finding it. Because if you don't know why you're doing something, it's hard to stay accountable for it, if that makes sense.

[00:12:01] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah, it does. 

[00:12:02] Marshall Stern: It's also hard to put all your energy, passion, and love and focus into something when you're not really sure what's driving you and, and why. You've started this business and why you keep doing it. And then the what? So I'm all about the why and the what. So the what was with the question about the three years, what do you want the business to look like?

[00:12:21] And again, that again, it's always just like the why they're both evolving. And you might have no idea or you might have just a general idea for the what, like in the digital marketing company, you might not even be sure yet. because it's fairly, when did you start the agency? 

[00:12:36] Aubrey Barnes: January of 2024. 

[00:12:39] Marshall Stern: Okay. So just over a year.

[00:12:40] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:12:41] Marshall Stern: So you survived your first year, which is excellent. Congratulations. No, but a lot of, a lot of people don't, right? 

[00:12:48] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:12:50] Marshall Stern: Why, so my question to you for both businesses, well, why did you start the pet waste bus business? Why did you start that? 

[00:13:07] Aubrey Barnes: Because I was struggling with the digital marketing business.

[00:13:10] And because I knew that I could do it, it was tangible. I had the marketing skills and I, sorry, I apologize. I thought it was on, let me just turn that guy off. I work with my husband also has his own business that we had talked about before. And we end up in people's backyards and there's just, you see dog waste everywhere in these big homes and you're like, hmm.

[00:13:42] You know, so then I just started following with little door hangers and sometimes he'll give my card to somebody, something like that. So it just was something that I knew I could do and I could do it quickly. And it was tangible more so than the digital marketing I had been working on. It. Also, I struggle with being on the computer all day.

[00:14:04] It's just something I don't enjoy. So I guess in, just to backtrack a little bit, I have no real interest in either of these businesses. My why was never to, or my what was never to own a digital marketing company or a pet waste company. I like real estate. I want to buy houses, so I would like to use my businesses as a tool to get the money to do that, to give myself more financial freedom.

[00:14:39] That has always been the goal. And so maybe I'm putting, why do I want this? Why do I want this digital marketing agency to work? And I'm trying to find it in the digital marketing agency, but the truth is I don't have a heart connection to it other than I can use it to get me somewhere else.

[00:14:58] Marshall Stern: Okay. Which is a motivating factor for you. 

[00:15:02] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:15:03] Marshall Stern: Okay. The challenge, however, this could be the Stern Truth, but the challenge can be, and I know this from experience that well, you, you found, you found it all already when things got difficult in the digital marketing agency. You looked elsewhere with the waste, the pet waste, right?

[00:15:23] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:15:25] Marshall Stern: So is there something that can connect you, Aubrey, to your company, to the digital or marketing agency that would engage you more and almost have more buy-in? So it could be the difference you're making, because obviously financial freedom is important to you and you want to eventually invest in real estate and other, probably other ventures.

[00:15:53] But the financial freedom can be a very alluring, it can also lead you to well. Shiny object syndrome. Oh, this comes up over here. Right. If you're not make, and if you're not making money in, or enough money in the digital marketing agency, you might start to seek opportunities elsewhere, which will take your attention there.

[00:16:10] You're focused there and it just can be almost like a vicious circle, because now you have, you'll have three businesses and four businesses all doing like, you know what I mean? 

[00:16:19] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:16:20] Marshall Stern: So my question or challenge to you is, it's the question what, is there something that can connect you and your heart, not the logical side, but the heart to your either business really to, in order to create the financial freedom.

[00:16:42] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. In the digital marketing business. I think that working with, I was thinking about this, talking to a friend about it this morning. I mentioned that I never did the Facebook ads. Jumped right over to the Google and the SEO, which is good, but it's hard to, you know, everybody that I work with is happy and there are tangible results of like, hey, you're getting more calls and more people are going to your website, things like that.

[00:17:11] But you're not getting people like, oh my gosh, I made so many sales today. My business is doing great because of you. And, that's something that I was looking forward to with the Facebook ads of like being able to help another company actually succeed and sell a product and do something that they just couldn't themselves.

[00:17:32] If that makes sense. And so I've, I've had this idea lately of if I should go back, but then I hit this, am I running away from putting time and effort into the Google and SEO? Yeah, I feel like I'm stuck in a loop kind of.

[00:17:49] Marshall Stern: So you want, you want the acknowledgement from your clients that. Are you still with us?

[00:17:57] I know you froze on your end. Oh. Oh. There you're, can you hear me? We're back. Yeah. Can you hear me 

[00:18:04] Aubrey Barnes: Alright? You, you froze on my end. 

[00:18:06] Marshall Stern: Oh, it's cold here too. Can you hear me okay? Yeah. Okay. So it sounds like you want the acknowledgement on your client's side that you're doing a good job for them. 

[00:18:19] Aubrey Barnes: I mean, I could, I could do, yes, everybody does, I think, but I could do without the acknowledgement, I think, I'm not sure how to put it into, I just want to feel like I'm doing more for people in their businesses because, yeah, I feel like I am doing something with the Google Management and SEO, but it just feels like so little, you know, it's worth what they're paying me and the time I'm putting into it, but it doesn't feel – I don't feel like I'm making a, a huge difference in these businesses that, 

[00:18:53] Marshall Stern: That's important to you, to make a difference.

[00:18:55] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah, I might as well. I mean, I'm here, you know, what other connection do I really have to this business other than trying to squeeze a buck out of it? I want to care about something. So, and, and, yeah, I don't, I don't have any real interest in taking people's money every month if they're not helping them.

[00:19:17] Marshall Stern: Okay. So you want to help people, you want to make a difference in their business and you're thinking, correct. Correct me if I'm wrong, Facebook ads might be able to do that more than Google Management and SEO? 

[00:19:35] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. I don't know. I don't know, honestly, I don't think. I'm still putting the time and effort into Google Management.

[00:19:45] Mm-hmm. I am working with people right now. I'm running ads for it, which it's a little hard to do because it's such a specific offer. So I've been working on those for a couple weeks trying to get them, you know, I'm spending the time and money into actually getting more clients and making this work.

[00:20:03] This is a conversation I had with my husband a couple weeks ago of, I'm at the standstill with two businesses. I have to move forward on one and pause the other. And I decided to stop taking clients with the pet waste company, move forward with Google Management. So I have been doing that, and I'm not going to stop until it works.

[00:20:24] But, but yes, I think, I don't know if it's because there's something in the back of my mind saying that Facebook ads are going to make you feel better and be more engaged. Maybe that's part of it. I have a hard time with accountability because I don't feel very engaged with a lot of it, Facebook ads are a little more hands-on.

[00:20:46] You're doing a lot more work, which sounds everybody wants to do less work. But, but it's more engaging for me, if that makes, sounds a little backwards, but. 

[00:20:58] Marshall Stern: Well, it's not, because I know, I know. I'm very familiar with both and I know with Facebook ads, I mean, you have to stay on top of it at you as the service provider have to stay on top of it.

[00:21:06] If your client, whereas the other SEO, you do it and it's like you have to still do the work, but it's like you do it and you just let it run its course. Do the report, redo it, update. 

[00:21:15] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:21:16] Marshall Stern: Right. 

[00:21:16] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. And I do better with the, the pressure of like, you have to be on it. The Google is I like it for what it is, and it's good.

[00:21:26] And it's a low offer that I can, you know, it's a, it is a little too loose sometimes though. You know, you, you don't have to check up on it the way that you do with Facebook ads. And so I have to set a million reminders to remember to go check on it because by the time I have to come back to this one part, or, you know,it's just not engaging for me.

[00:21:52] Marshall Stern: So can you not add the Facebook ads management onto as a tool? 

[00:21:59] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah, I can to get clients, I would have to either aggressively network or run ads, and I think I would rather run ads. 

[00:22:10] Marshall Stern: Well, but here's the, okay, so here's the thing, and we're going to get to, this is all about accountability, but in the end, most clients out there, I always say this.

[00:22:21] Don't care what you do or don't care what I do. Right. Specifically tools. All they care about for, for you, all they care about is, oh, Aubrey really gets my business. She understands my, what I'm going through and she can help me. 

[00:22:36] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:22:37] Marshall Stern: How does she, how could she help me? She's digital marketing expert. I mean, she'll help get what?

[00:22:43] Eyeballs, clicks, people, traffic, whatever it is. How she does it, that's she's the expert. She might do it through SEO, she might do it through Google Management. She might do it through Facebook management, she might do it through all three, right? 

[00:23:00] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:23:01] Marshall Stern: I mean, there are some people out there who, clients are clients.

[00:23:04] Same thing with me as a coach. They don't necessarily, they're not coming to me for a specific, oh, I want to work with a coach for three months, like weekly, for three months. They just, they need help. They have a pain point. They need help. That's what they want, how I go about doing it.

[00:23:23] Right. Specifically like an online course or, or one-to-one sessions aren't necessarily that that's the tool. So for you, aren't the clients not the same like some of your existing clients would face? I'm not suggesting Facebook ads management specific necessarily, but that's a tool. Could that tool not be implemented as a part of strategy for some of your existing clients. 

[00:23:51] Aubrey Barnes: In the future, yeah.

[00:23:52] The only client it would really serve right now would be my pet waste company running my own ads. So, so nobody that I have now, but, but yeah. And it is something, you know, on my Google Management website, my business website, I have the Facebook ads. So it's something that I could do and would offer to a client if one came along and it applied.

[00:24:18] Marshall Stern: Okay. Let's change gears. Let's change gears for a second, 

[00:24:22] Aubrey Barnes: Okay. 

[00:24:23] Marshall Stern: About accountability. Why do you think you, and in your terms, you struggle with accountability?

[00:24:35] Aubrey Barnes: I don't really know the answer to that question. I had told you before, I don't know the answer to the question. I feel like there's a part of me that's a little bit lazy. Because that's the only thing that makes sense to me. And I mean, why, why else would somebody know that they have to get something done today and instead to choose to do anything but that thing?

[00:24:59] Marshall Stern: Okay, let's just say I'm a client of yours. You're doing, let's say, SEO for me, and you have to do something. You have to work on my website. You have to do something by tomorrow. Update it. Let's say for whatever reason, it doesn't matter what it is, by tomorrow at 12 o'clock. Would you get it done by 12 o'clock?

[00:25:22] Aubrey Barnes: Yep. 

[00:25:23] Marshall Stern: So you'd be accountable to that? 

[00:25:26] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. Yeah. When it comes to client work, I don't fall short, you know, I don't push things back unless something happens or it's been communicated to them. But I do my work, I get the work done. Especially if, you know, somebody's paying for it, it gets done on time.

[00:25:47] It's, it's mostly when it comes to my own business, like growing my own business, knowing that I need to put in this work to get more clients that's when I fall short is when it's for myself. 

[00:26:03] Marshall Stern: So that's not lazy, is it? If you're doing it for your clients, you just maybe are not seeing you. You see the importance for your clients, right?

[00:26:13] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:26:14] Marshall Stern: Here’s the thing about accountability. You are definitely not alone. In fact, most people, service providers specifically, do the work for when other people are expecting it, right? It's just like, you know, me being a parent, when my kids need me, when they were young, even now they're much older, but when they were like younger and they needed me to pick, let's say, pick them up from school, I was not going to miss that I was, or have had to be at an event of theirs.

[00:26:47] I was going to be there. But the work we do for ourselves, for whatever reason, tends to take a backseat. So I was not being lazy. It's just not understanding the importance and not, maybe part of it is not having a deep enough connection to the why. Okay. If that makes sense. 

[00:27:10] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah, 

[00:27:10] Marshall Stern: Because you understand the why, meaning the purpose, the importance of your client work.

[00:27:16] There's no question about that. Or if your husband needs help, like in his business for something, you're, and you're there, right? Okay. So when it comes to your own work, it's really about asking yourself why is this important? And some of it might not be, right? For example, I've said this before, and it happens every time.

[00:27:50] I used to be very organized before I actually had kids and everything. So years ago I used to be really organized, well, somewhat organized. Now my, like my file, my to file list or stack grows and grows and grows. And I can say, okay, I'm going to clean up my, I'm going to file everything tomorrow, two o'clock by two o'clock tomorrow.

[00:28:17] It's just going to sit. because it's not important enough to me. And so I just have a nice folder. The folder gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And one day it's going to take me probably an entire week to file everything because it's grown. So, or, or if I need to find something important to go through it, it's just not important enough to me.

[00:28:34] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:28:36] Marshall Stern: But other aspects of our business is more important. So for you, what would some act, what would some, gimme an example of some activities that you struggle with accountability on, that you might procrastinate on or just not do? 

[00:28:54] Aubrey Barnes: Maybe sending out emails, like cold emails to businesses. 

[00:28:59] Marshall Stern: Okay.

[00:29:03] Because that's exciting. We all love sending cold, cold emails. 

[00:29:07] Aubrey Barnes: No, and I mean, I've heard people say, they're like, oh, it takes a hundred “no’s” to get to a yes, so you're just one no closer, and that's positive. And I'm like, yeah, that's true. But sending the emails just takes a long time, which it's fine.

[00:29:23] But yeah, you, there's a lot of time to go into, because each email I send, I do like an individual little mini audit of the business. Okay. Before sending it to them. So it takes time. 

[00:29:34] Marshall Stern: Do you do a little video as well? 

[00:29:36] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:29:36] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:29:37] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. Like a loom. 

[00:29:39] Marshall Stern: Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. So that's a good, anything else, like anything else specifically comes to mind that you might need accountability on or should have accountability on?

[00:29:49] Aubrey Barnes: I mean, as far as activities, I guess the other thing would be networking. I have, a little uncomfortable with that, with just like going out and networking, but maybe it's a, sometimes it's not just accountability, it's like pulling the trigger on something. Like how I've been thinking about, oh, I should re-add Facebook ads because that feels like it might be more meaningful to me.

[00:30:17] But then I don't do it because I'm like, oh, but then I have to spend money and then I have to take the calls and that's a lot and this and this and that. You know, then I have to actually do the work of, of getting the clients and it's like, I have this thing, oh, I want to do this. I know it's going to be good, and then I talk myself back out of it.

[00:30:37] I can't think of other accountability activities that I put off to help my business other than the actively getting clients sending the emails or networking. 

[00:30:53] Marshall Stern: So, sounds like it's the sort of the business development lead gen kind of work yourself that you. Put, put off. Okay. So, do you understand if I ask you, well, I'll ask the question.

[00:31:08] Why would it be important to reach out to new people and to network and to build your network and send emails, whatever it is, or your own campaign for lead gen? Why would that be important? 

[00:31:22] Aubrey Barnes: Getting your name out there, getting people familiar with you. Even if they don't buy from you now, they, you know, run into you later or see an ad later.

[00:31:30] They're more familiar with you. It, I mean, one you can get customers from or clients from it. Of course, two, you can network and meet people that maybe can help your business. And three, yeah, you build trust with people that maybe down the road would, would buy from you, whereas they wouldn't just buy from you the first time they met you.

[00:31:51] Marshall Stern: Right? So, but the more clients you have, the more clients you bring on, the more income you'll make, which goes to the financial freedom, which goes to. What you ultimately want to do. I mean, the business sounds like right now at least, because it could evolve. Of course the business sounds like the business is a means to an end, to a certain degree.

[00:32:14] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. Unless I was like, oh my God, I love digital marketing, this is wonderful. I want to do this forever. As of as of now, it's more of a means to an end. , and whether that means making money out of it and moving to something else, or, you know, continuing to work on it for years and years to come, but having, more time and more money open to either.

[00:32:39] Marshall Stern: Do you see, do you see the, like, do you really see the value in putting the work in now on, like the ones you said the networking, intentionally networking, not just networking anywhere, cold emails, all the business development stuff. Do you see the value in focusing on that? 

[00:32:59] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:33:00] Marshall Stern: Okay. So what do you think I'm going to ask you, what do you think would hold you accountable to actually doing it?

[00:33:08] Aubrey Barnes: Somebody putting me in a trunk, dragging me to the event. Probably. I'm just kidding. 

[00:33:13] Marshall Stern: Okay, well, okay. 

[00:33:16] Aubrey Barnes: I'm not sure the only thing that keeps me accountable is when I have a moment of like, screw it, I have to do it and I sign up for something. Right. I sign up for something, I'm not going to cancel it.

[00:33:28] So that's embarrassing. I'll show up even if I really, really, really don't want to. 

[00:33:32] Marshall Stern: Okay. So let's just say. Continue. You go ahead. Sorry. 

[00:33:36] Aubrey Barnes: Oh, I was just going to say, I did, I signed up for, do you know BNI? 

[00:33:40] Marshall Stern: Yeah, 

[00:33:40] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. I signed up pretty much go to BNI twice. Twice. I signed up and twice they canceled it because of weather.

[00:33:46] Which people in Kansas here are afraid of a little snow I've come to find. . And I just haven't signed up, so since then. 

[00:33:56] Marshall Stern: Oh, okay. So the program that you took for the ads, for the ads management. 

[00:34:01] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:34:01] Marshall Stern: You paid a significant amount of money for that. 

[00:34:04] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:34:05] Marshall Stern: And did you show up, I'm not just saying at the events, but the, the training, whatever trainings, coaching sessions there were session.

[00:34:13] Did you put your best, like did you put the, did you show up and engage in it? 

[00:34:19] Aubrey Barnes: Yes, but to answer your unspoken question, I didn't put in my full effort, I don't think. No, I didn't show up. I didn't say, oh, I'm going to dive head for students. because it's an online course. Yeah.

[00:34:33] There are live weekly calls, which I would show up for most of the weekly calls, but the courses where I'm walking through at my own pace, it was the same thing. I would binge watch them and study and then I kind of wouldn't do it for a couple days and then I would binge study and,  mm-hmm.

[00:34:52] But I didn't have a good system of like, or a good, I want to have it done by this day, you know, if, if that answers your question. 

[00:35:00] Marshall Stern: Yeah, no, it does. It does. So what if we were to work together or, or you, or you bring on another coach? Okay. Someone else, coach or mentor, just someone else. And you give them, I'll just say $3,000 accountability coach.

[00:35:15] Okay. $3,000 to hold you accountable. On a weekly basis, and you come up with a plan each and every week of what you're going to do, the action steps you're going to take, would you show up on the calls? Well, I asse you'd show up on the calls, would you actually do the work? Would you actually hold yourself accountable because someone else that you're paying is expecting you to do the work?

[00:35:39] Aubrey Barnes: I want to say yes, but you know, at the same time, I don't know how to explain it. It's with the Facebook ads, you know, I spent the money and I'm like, oh, I'm going to do it because I spent the money. And, and then I didn't, and then I just felt guilty, and then I felt really crappy for feeling guilty for spending all this money and not making any money back.

[00:36:01] So then I didn't do anything. So I felt guilty. Yeah, I'm not sure I want to say yes. I want to say if I, if I give you $3,000, I would do everything you said, but.

[00:36:14] Marshall Stern: No, no, no. Okay. Hang on. No, there's a difference. So I'm not to – look, coaches were not, well, generally we're not consultants. So I'm not saying I'm going to tell you exactly what to do and you're going to do it because you might not buy into it.

[00:36:27] Okay. 

[00:36:28] Aubrey Barnes: Okay. 

[00:36:28] Marshall Stern: It might not resonate with you. You might not, it might feel icky to you. I've had consultants before. I call themselves coaches, and, it didn't work. 

[00:36:37] Marshall Stern: Because it felt icky, the stuff. 

[00:36:39] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:36:39] Marshall Stern: But what I mean is if we together, okay, let's say you and I work together, come up with a plan, and you say, okay, this is what I'm going to do.

[00:36:49] I'm going to hold myself accountable this week I'm going to send five cold emails out. I'm going to go to one, one networking event. Which networking event do you think you should go, that you think I should put my focus in Marshall? And then I give you my feedback. But then you said, I'm going five cold emails, five follow up emails.

[00:37:06] And it came from you. We talked through it all, but it came from you. because if I just say, okay, Aubrey, I want you to call 10 people this week. Right? I mean, so you might, the first week. Just to get a, get an a plus, but after that, you know, or I want you to use this script. 

[00:37:24] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:37:25] Marshall Stern: That's just not the way it works.

[00:37:26] It has to be you. 

[00:37:27] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:37:29] Marshall Stern: Right. 

[00:37:29] Aubrey Barnes: If I give you a list of things that I wanted to accomplish in the week before I met you again, 

[00:37:34] Marshall Stern: Yes. 

[00:37:35] Aubrey Barnes: I would probably get half of them done. 

[00:37:39] Marshall Stern: And what, and the other half you would just, would there be excuses for it or you would just,

[00:37:46] Aubrey Barnes: I might forget until the last day and then be like, eh.

[00:37:51] Marshall Stern: Well, that's also my job to make sure, to keep you accountable, to make sure you don't forget at the beginning, at least. Right. 

[00:37:59] Aubrey Barnes: So, I'm getting reminders. 

[00:38:01] Marshall Stern: Reminders, but eell, it depends on what you need. Okay. 

[00:38:03] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:38:04] Marshall Stern: It might be reminder, so, yeah.

[00:38:06] Aubrey Barnes: Okay. So, you, you talked with Pauly, right? 

[00:38:11] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:38:11] Aubrey Barnes: Pauly is a firehouse. She has so much energy. I don't even, it's almost tiring for me to keep up with her. And Chanel too. I'm in groups with them and I just don't check all the time because it's just so much for me. I just don't have that type of energy.

[00:38:29] It's very inspiring. So she's on top of things and she makes lists and she says, okay, everybody in this group, let's be accountable. And I think it was a 30 day accountability. Anyways, she said, okay, week 1, 2, 3, 4, what are you wanting to do? What are you wanting to get done? Yeah.

[00:38:51] And so we all went through and said what we were going to do and yeah, I don't I think I've done maybe half of it. Same thing with we set of, we're all going to do a 30 day social media challenge plus one thing on social media for 30 days. Yeah. And. It's been, I don't 15 days and I've done maybe 10 of them. But, yeah, I don't know why I don't feel obligated to the things that I say I am going to do if there's no real consequence, which in itself is a load of crap because the consequences that I'm not getting clients and I'm going nowhere, and then I'm like, oh no, why am I not doing anything in my business?

[00:39:41] There is a consequence, but it's a slow burn and so I don't feel the pressure of it. 

[00:39:48] Marshall Stern: Yes, and the problem with accountability groups, and first of all, they can be really good. The problem with accountability partners or account accountability groups when it's mutual is that it's very easy for some to say.

[00:40:01] Aub. It's okay. It's okay. Next week. It's okay. I felt the same thing. Or, it's okay, I've been there. Don't worry about it. Right at the beginning it usually starts up strong. But you're not paying them money. You are all in the same level. They're, you are all in the same situation.

[00:40:21] And I've tried, like with exercise accountability partners and you are relying on each other. And then it's like the other person, if it's like one-on-one and the person gets sick and I'm not going to go to the gym today, or I'm just too tired. And then you like, okay, well if you're not going, then I guess I don't have to go.

[00:40:38] I'm off the hook. 

[00:40:40] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. I feel like the sick friend and the accountability, because I'm just there in the background, like, you know, so most of the girls are encouraging each other and I'm doing great. I did great too. What are your wins? What are your wins? And I'm just, they're like, Ooh, good job guys.

[00:40:54] But I don't feel so inclined to be like, here's the big things I did this week. It doesn't really. As much as I enjoy seeing these, these women that I think are wonderful, do great. It doesn't necessarily encourage me or make me feel the need to be more accountable. 

[00:41:12] Marshall Stern: Does it do anything negative to you? To see all of this 

[00:41:16] Aubrey Barnes: Just takes my time, and that makes me feel rude because I'm like, I'm not trying to be like, oh, I don't have time for these girls because I really do like these people and I like what they're doing and getting done.

[00:41:29] I wish I could function that way, but it just ends up taking my time and starting failed accountability tasks. 

[00:41:39] Marshall Stern: What I mean is how does that, what does that do for your own mindset and your own belief system, feeling about yourself when you see these people doing all apparently, on the screen, looks like they're doing all these things, it's awesome and they're firecrackers.

[00:41:55] They're powerhouses, and it's like, and then you're here and it's. Like, how does that make you feel? 

[00:42:01] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. I mean, seeing them succeed in doing these things doesn't necessarily make me feel bad in any way. It makes me feel lazy, which, you know, you say it's not laziness, but, it, it makes me feel bad when I start to do the accountability thing when I, I take on these accountability tasks with them and like, oh yeah, I'll do these things in a month.

[00:42:28] And most of the girls are like, I'm on my way. I am mostly done. I'm checking all the boxes. And I'm just like, but it doesn't make me feel bad enough to do it. 

[00:42:38] Marshall Stern: Yeah. Yeah. Because I think part of the problem, it's for all of us is that, again, it goes back to not understanding why it's important and not, and not really being pushed.

[00:42:53] Okay. Because it's easy to hold yourself accountable to someone else, to a group of people or be part of a group, but after a while it does get tiring. 

[00:43:04] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. And, and I don't know how to, I think, I don't know how to push myself. 

[00:43:09] Marshall Stern: Yeah. I think once you start to see the results, things would change.

[00:43:18] Okay. But I also think it's really working on the clarity aspect of what you really, really want and what excites you and the why. Okay. And them what? And then building a plan and whether we work together, we work with someone else or you do it yourself. Finding a way to slow things down on accountability stuff.

[00:43:49] Understanding why it is so important and trusting the pro and making a plan and trusting the process and not overestimating what you can do and underdelivering. Okay. But just slowing things down and giving yourself some grace and, no, I don't think you're lazy. If you were lazy you would've zero clients.

[00:44:15] Because the clients would all quit on you. 

[00:44:17] Aubrey Barnes: That's true. 

[00:44:19] Marshall Stern: You just are in, this sounds like you're just sort of in this sort of gray area of, maybe fogginess? I don't know. Not sure? Yeah. 

[00:44:31] Aubrey Barnes: No. Oh, I am, I feel like I'm in a very slow season. I feel like a sloth most of the time. I also, I'm very tired. All the, like, lethargic.

[00:44:40] I just today went and did, I've been doing allergy treatments. I have, because I started taking vitamins to help with my energy and all of these things. And then come to find out I'm allergic to certain vitamins like vitamin B, which is a huge, it's in every food and, in a, like a B12 is a huge factor in you regulating your energy levels.

[00:45:06] Yeah, I was allergic to vitamin B, so I've been doing treatments for that. I, so when I started, full disclosure, when I started the digital marketing ads, I had just had my last surgery to remove my cancer and cancer free. I was post-op, laying in bed, like, you know, I've wanted to start my own business for so long.

[00:45:33] This is a great time. I can learn. I'm going to be on the couch for the next couple weeks and I can do all these things. And, so I jumped into it. And since then I have been slow, you know, after, after two surgeries. I couldn't move my body the same. They were both in my abdomen. And so just now am I starting to get back to like actively working out and being able to push myself physically again.

[00:46:05] So I feel like I'm on this track of getting back to energy and all of these things, but since last January since I started the digital marketing specifically has been a particularly like, not unhappy, but low point, like low energy, low drive. In my life. If, if that makes sense, yeah.

[00:46:29] I feel like I've just been kind of moseying along and trying to get done, get these big tasks done but I don't feel, I'm not sure of the word. I don't feel the pressure to get them done enough to push me to actually do the big things, to get the bigger clients to, you know, does that, does that make sense?

[00:46:54] I feel like I'm getting to a point where I'm picking back up a little, 

[00:47:02] Marshall Stern: Well, first all, 

[00:47:03] Aubrey Barnes: And I'm trying to be intentional, intentional, intentional about picking it back up. 

[00:47:10] Marshall Stern: So I want to first thank you for sharing your situation with me. 

[00:47:15] Aubrey Barnes: Oh, thanks. 

[00:47:16] Marshall Stern: So for, come on, like, it's funny, you know, we tell ourselves this story, which is usually to do a bunch of bullshit.

[00:47:27] You went through this life-changing, like, serious situation, surgeries, beating cancer. You call yourself lazy. 

[00:47:41] Aubrey Barnes: I feel like I know you say I'm not, and I think that in a lot of ways I'm not. But I think that there are ways that I am because I, you know, I feel like I'm in this resting period in my life where I've been in this, you know, resting recovery for the last year, and I'm like slowly waking up from it, kind of.

[00:48:03] But there are days on end where I'm like, ugh, I could have gotten a lot done. I had the energy to it to do it, and I really, I just chose not to. And part of it is because I have this like, oh my God, I didn't die. I'm just going to take it easy. You know, like, not, not that it was serious enough that I was facing death at any moment, but, but it was like, I have somewhat of a peacefulness to me that keeps me from being too ambitious. 

[00:48:39] Marshall Stern: Were you like that before or is it just since? 

[00:48:43] Aubrey Barnes: I was nonstop before. 

[00:48:47] Marshall Stern: Hmm. 

[00:48:47] Aubrey Barnes: I was working four jobs at times. I was just, I mean, once I got married five years ago, I slowed down. I definitely slowed down, and I started trying to find more of what I wanted to do. I mean, I always knew what I wanted to do, but, but I slowed down a little more.

[00:49:12] But yeah, I've always worked multiple jobs. Been busy, busy in personal life, you know, hanging out with friends, family, all of that stuff. So, I'm sorry, what was your original…? 

[00:49:26] Marshall Stern: No, but it's just really the whole, the whole book. Before you said like, were you like this before? You said you were nonstop before, right?

[00:49:35] You've been through a big change. Okay. Not change, but your situation. Ut's been through a change your body, and the recovery. So I guess the question I have for you now, I mean, it sounds like you're hard on yourself in some ways. Do you want to build a successful business?

[00:50:06] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:50:08] Marshall Stern: Regardless of what the business is. Yes. You, you do want to build. Yeah, because 

[00:50:12] Aubrey Barnes: I know that I can, that's a huge why that I've had for a long time that I know that I'm capable of 

[00:50:19] Marshall Stern: doing it. Could it be this marketing business? 

[00:50:23] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:50:24] Marshall Stern: So what's stopping you from doing it now? Like, forget 10 minutes ago. Moving forward, after this conversation, now. 

[00:50:33] Aubrey Barnes: doing the uncomfortable things, sending an email with a video of me that's a little awkward. Or committing to spending a couple hundred dollars on ads to run, to get clients. 

[00:50:46] Marshall Stern: Okay. So, you know there's people out there. Customers out there, clients out there who need your help.

[00:50:53] Do you believe that? 

[00:50:56] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. My hesitation is that, you know, I'm an unseasoned professional in, say specifically Facebook ads, but I am confident that I will work hard to get every answer and that I have a really big network, for being someone who's never had a Facebook client. I have an insane network of people that are you, do you do that litter good at, at having Facebook clients?

[00:51:23] So I don't think that I will ever come short of an answer, and I have faith in myself. I know that I'll never leave a client hanging. Like if there's something that needs to be figured out, everything is forfeitable. Right. I'll do it. 

[00:51:40] Marshall Stern: Well, okay. So even putting yourself aside for a second, regardless of you, Aubrey the person.

[00:51:45] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm.

[00:51:46] Marshall Stern: There are, you do believe there are clients out there that have been either burned by a different agency that's full of crap, full of crap agency. Okay. I just came up with a new term for them. The full of crap agency. 

[00:51:58] Aubrey Barnes: I know. I'm like, oh, that's a good headline. 

[00:52:02] Marshall Stern: But they've been burned by that or they're just confused.

[00:52:05] They have no idea what to do and they need help. They need people, they need more eyeballs, they need more traffic, whatever it is. Front door, online, all that kind of stuff. 

[00:52:13] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. They're out there. 

[00:52:14] Marshall Stern: They're out there. If you could help them or would you like to help them? Would you like to help them because you are not like all the other full of crap agencies, people.

[00:52:27] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:52:29] Marshall Stern: Would that make you feel good? 

[00:52:31] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:52:32] Marshall Stern: Okay. So what do you think you need to do now in order to keep going and keep pushing? 

[00:52:40] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. I need to decide what avenue I'm going to take. I guess. Whether that's putting a lot of time into networking or running ads and blocking out the time to take the calls and I'm leaning towards the ads.

[00:53:00] Okay, yeah, so just making the decision to take the next step and doing it. 

[00:53:06] Marshall Stern: Well, part of it is a, yeah, I agree. And I know we're up against the time, but part of it is a decision. 

[00:53:12] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:53:13] Marshall Stern: I mean, it's a simple decision to make. Then you need to manage the decision. 

[00:53:17] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:53:18] Marshall Stern: So you need to do whatever it takes on your end to make sure you have the team in place or the mindset in place to maintain that decision.

[00:53:27] Whether it's post it's reminders, a coach or mentor, your group, accountability partner, if you're both on the same page, whatever it is, so that you maintain that decision and you don't just let it slip by and put it off. 

[00:53:42] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:53:43] Marshall Stern: And put off the – it's all about learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable, because that's where.

[00:53:51] We know the growth happens in the uncomfortable zone. So what then can you do, let's say, what day is today? Well, it's beginning of the week, so it's a Monday. Okay. I know we're not working together, but what can you do in the next week? If I followed up with you in a week, what do you want, what would you hold yourself accountable to doing in, in, in this next week?

[00:54:21] Aubrey Barnes: Sending some emails out for the Google management, because it's something that I can get done. I'm going to stick with just that. I want to say get a, get a Facebook ad running. But that's a lot of work to, I mean, I could, I'm going to stick with the, the emails, sending out the emails and maybe starting a, starting an ad campaign for Facebook.

[00:54:47] Marshall Stern: Okay. How many emails do you think? 

[00:54:51] Aubrey Barnes: I will do 10. I could do 10. 

[00:54:54] Marshall Stern: Is that like thinking too big or do ten's good? 

[00:54:59] Marshall Stern: You could do 10. 

[00:55:00] Aubrey Barnes: No, realistically I could do 20 or 30. So we're going to do 10. 

[00:55:07] Marshall Stern: Okay. Is it okay if I follow up with you in a week? 

[00:55:10] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:55:11] Marshall Stern: Okay. Alright. And on the personal side, you're good.

[00:55:18] You're starting to get your energy back and you're exercising, all that kind of stuff. 

[00:55:23] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. Yeah. It's a slow progression, but I'm feeling better all the time. Yeah. 

[00:55:31] Marshall Stern: Okay, perfect. I'm going to, I'm going to suggest, and if you don't do it, it's because you didn't come up, didn't come from you, but I'm going to suggest one more thing to possibly think about.

[00:55:42] And maybe just make notes why this business matters. Why this business matters to your customers and to you. 

[00:55:54] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:55:56] Marshall Stern: The why doesn't have to be fancy words. Just to start to think about why does this business matter? Does this business matter? From the start of the conversation, you talked about all the stuff out there.

[00:56:06] What we, I can't remember how I termed it. The crap, the crappy marketing, I can't remember what I called it. Yeah. Right. Full of crap marketing.

[00:56:15] Marshall Stern: Yes. And that might be part of it, but coming up with just what, why is this important? Because there's going to be some days, here's the thing, there's going to be some days that, that there, where the why comes in really helpful is there are going to be days where you wake up and you're just like, ah.

[00:56:34] Whether it's the weather, you're just not feeling it. This is just why, you know, are you going to know? Or you get ghosted. We all do. Right? Why am I doing this? And then you look at the, you, why. Okay. It's sort of a check-in. 

[00:56:50] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[00:56:50] Marshall Stern: A reminder, this is why I'm doing this, and it might be to help whatever make a difference, help them grow their business and have the financial freedom so that I can then invest in real estate, whatever other businesses, whatever it is.

[00:57:07] I had a client years ago who her big why, she had an accounting agency. Her big why was to retire her husband. Her husband had been working this laborist job forever, and she wanted him to retire, so she wanted to take over and make all the money. 

[00:57:22] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. And, and that's part of when I say that my why has changed.

[00:57:26] You know, originally before my husband was in the picture, I was like, oh, I want to start my own business and my wife for working for jobs and wanting to start my own business and doing all those things was, that I didn't come from a place of money. I came from pure struggle. I moved out when I was 15 years old and was just constantly trying to, you know, get on top and, and my why was to provide for myself.

[00:57:51] And to get to a point where I didn't have to work so hard to provide for myself. And then I meet this like, wonderful man, he comes in my life and he's like, I got you. Which is nice, but then you're like, wait. But everything I've been working towards for so many years, and so I've had to rewire.

[00:58:12] I Why? Because I haven't, you know, I mean, we're not millionaires, but I haven't struggled in that way for a long time, but I still have this drive to get this done. I still have this drive to succeed. 

[00:58:29] Marshall Stern: It's interesting. It's taken us 58 minutes to get to somewhere. Really? Right. We need another 58 minutes.

[00:58:37] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. Sorry. I talk in circles sometimes. So you're like, what's accountability? I'm like, it's this and that, and this and all these, and you're like –  

[00:58:45] Marshall Stern: Well, none of those. So here's the thing, Aubrey, I'm going to call it what it is, right? If you didn't have your husband or the situation, right? 

[00:58:53] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. 

[00:58:54] Marshall Stern: Or, or you did, but it wasn't, he didn't have his own business and he was busting his ass.

[00:58:58] I mean, I'm sure he still does, but financially, you guys weren't where you are. And you needed this, you needed this business to work because you needed to contribute to the household income. You needed to do this, you needed whatever. Do you think things would be different for you? 

[00:59:13] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah.

[00:59:15] Marshall Stern: Or you, or if you were on your own?

[00:59:16] Aubrey Barnes: If we were, yeah, I'm not sure actually. Because I want to say we were actually financially struggling. , that I would just go out and work two jobs, you know, in a job. because I do, I'm not sure the answer to that, but, yeah, I'm not sure. 

[00:59:38] Marshall Stern: But you wouldn't be what you call lazy? No. What you think, what you think you've been doing?

[00:59:43] Aubrey Barnes: No, and there's parts, I'm like, do I just need to go back and get a job? Because I know I'll work, I know I'll work hard and I know that, you know, I, I had told you when we first talked, when I have a job, I excel and, and I've worked very different job. Like I worked for the government and did great. I worked as a server and bartender for years and was the top one in every restaurant I ever worked at. You know, like I just, I excel easily in my jobs. And so I guess I was like, oh, I'll do that in my entrepreneurship too. That was a joke. But anyways, so I've been thinking, I'm like, oh my God, do I just need to go back and get a job, so that I can feel accomplished again and have this like accountability?

[01:00:33] Which I think is just another sidetrack of like, it's, instead of pushing forward and working harder on my business, it's almost like giving up and being like, oh, but I know that this will work. This is this different shiny thing that I know, you know, this is an easier lower hanging fruit, so I'm not going to do that.

[01:00:59] I'm going to put the time and effort into this business that I've started, but. 

[01:01:07] Marshall Stern: Have you thought about working with a coach or mentor? I mean, I know you had Sarah, you did the program, but that was more of a training program. 

[01:01:14] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah, teaching program. Yeah. It was more of a training program and it was very, group oriented.

[01:01:20] And I am a pretty social person. I'm very comfortable in social. Like I don't have a problem speaking up, but I don't, I don't typically speak up in like a group coaching settings or teaching settings. 

[01:01:32] Marshall Stern: Yeah. But I mean like in a one-to-one, have you thought about that? 

[01:01:36] Aubrey Barnes: Not really. I mean, the thought has occurred to me occasionally, but I've never genuinely put thought into it.

[01:01:42] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[01:01:43] Aubrey Barnes: Considered it. 

[01:01:44] Marshall Stern: Okay. Well, it's something to think about and whether it's me or someone else, but something to think about, having someone not just hold you accountable because that's important, but just really helping you, get clear on the why and the what, and be able to plan and work together.  Move forward in your business to grow your business and to sort of catch you doing things that you, we all do.

[01:02:08] Like our normal habits. To be able to catch you and see your blind spots. Help you see your blind spot, blind spots. Okay. So I'm going to follow up with you in a week. So you're going to do, send 10 emails out. 

[01:02:26] Aubrey Barnes: Mm-hmm. 

[01:02:28] Marshall Stern: And you said you were going to start, I think you said you were going to start back with the campaign, your own campaign ad, campaign relaunch.

[01:02:37] Aubrey Barnes: Let's just stick with the emails. I wanted look into starting a campaign. 

[01:02:42] Marshall Stern: Yeah. You're looking to starting a campaign. Okay. And then I had mentioned to you if you wanted, just start maybe thinking about the why stuff. 

[01:02:49] Marshall Stern: And make and making notes about that. But the main thing, 10 emails. 

[01:02:55] Aubrey Barnes: Okay. Think about the one. Okay. I can do that, 

[01:03:00] Marshall Stern: And then I'll follow up in, in a week. Any, any, any questions on your end? 

[01:03:05] Aubrey Barnes: No. Thanks. Those make to me ramble. No, I, it takes me a long time to get to the point. 

[01:03:15] Marshall Stern: Sometimes there's a lot there. Right. And one thing I know about your industry is there are a lot of people out there who do need guidance on the marketing side. Regardless of how it's, the objective for most businesses online or offline is they want more clients, they want more. Right. Knocks the door, door opens website or in person, or bricks and mortar.

[01:03:40] And there is just so much noise out there and people just don't know where to go and who to trust. Because there is, it's way too noisy. So it's just a, it's just a matter of getting out there, meeting people and. Well, it's through your own campaign, through sending emails out, obviously networking.

[01:04:01] I have a love-hate relationship with BNI. so I did it for a year. It's a lot of work. 

[01:04:09] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah. I don't think that I'll sign up for it just because it's a lot of time commitment. And even though I think it could potentially, you know, I think financially I could get the, the clients out of it and get a good local network going for what you pay to get in.

[01:04:29] But, yeah, I'm not really interested in the time commitment of it right now. 

[01:04:34] Marshall Stern: Well, well it's a lot of, yeah. It's a lot of time commitment there, but it's also a lot of time commitment in giving referrals. That's the biggest part of BNI is the referrals. And you have to have a network of people and know and be able to give referrals and you have to be comfortable with the group that you're giving the referrals to.

[01:04:48] Because if they're not very good or some of them aren't good, that could be a challenge. So it's a full-time job almost. 

[01:04:56] Marshall Stern: And if you don't do the stuff, then they kick you out. Yeah. So, yeah, 

[01:05:01] Aubrey Barnes: I'm not interested in that right now. 

[01:05:03] Marshall Stern: Yeah. So, okay. II think we're there. 

[01:05:07] Aubrey Barnes: Thank you for staying late with me.

[01:05:09] Appreciate it. 

[01:05:10] Marshall Stern: No, my pleasure. I look forward to seeing all that you do and checking in with you in a week. 

[01:05:16] Aubrey Barnes: Thanks. 

[01:05:17] Marshall Stern: Does this feel like a little bit of a therapy business therapy session or a therapy session? 

[01:05:22] Aubrey Barnes: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I had no expectations. I was like, could be good, could be nothing. I don't, I've no idea.

[01:05:30] Because I've never done something like this. So, I mean, I think talking in general is good for you. You get some thoughts out that you don't normally work through out of your head. So either way I thought it would be good, but it was, it was very helpful. Thank you. 

[01:05:48] Marshall Stern: Perfect. Okay, sounds good.

[01:05:49] If you have any que any questions, just let me know. And other than that, thank you everyone for, for watching another Business Therapy Thursday session with Aubrey. I'd love to hear your comments, your feedback from this and your insights and takeaways. I know we went a little bit longer than normal, but there was a lot to unpack and I don't think we're done yet, but there's a lot, there's a lot we're never done.

[01:06:10] None of us are ever done, but there's a lot there and so we'd love to hear your feedback and we'll see you again next week.

[01:06:21] Thank you so much for tuning in to the Stern Truth. If you found today's episode helpful, we would love to hear from you. Please like, share and leave us a review. Also, if you'd like to be a guest in the upcoming episode or join us in one of our Moment Accountability Group sessions, simply email me to marshall@marshallstern.net.

[01:06:41] That's marshall@marshallstern.net. And don't forget to hit the subscribe button, so never miss an episode. Until next time, keep pushing forward and leading with confidence.