Ep. 71 The Stern Truth: What is Your MORE With Denise Frenette

Denise Frenette is all about the “more.” She’s not specifically about having more things and having more nice dinners (which she admits she does love). The "more" that Denise is talking about is the balance between running a business and having what you truly want in life. She even wrote a book on it, aptly titled "MORE".

An entrepreneur several times over, Denise never felt like she fit into the typical “9-5” corporate box. She talks a lot in this episode about grit and determination. As Denise puts it, the ability to see a vision and bring it into detail and make it "more" takes a lot of grit and just as much confidence.

One of the reasons Denise got into business for herself was that she saw how things were done in her industry and thought, I could do it better myself. I’m sure that her eye for detail, passion for wellness, and entrepreneur parents helped too.

Denise shares an incredible story about a former employee. Although now a competitor, this former employee admitted to Denis that she didn’t know what it took to run a business. Denise encouraged this person to keep going, driving home the kind of grit that it takes to run a business.

There were so many great golden nuggets and Stern Truth’s in this episode, but one of Denise’s best golden nuggets is that there’s more to life than just business. Take an honest look at all aspects of your life. Even though you might be successful in one area, you don’t want to miss the boat on what life is about.

Connect with Denise here:
Website: https://www.denisefrenette.com/

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Transcript

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[00:00:00] Marshall Stern: So, we all want more doing. We all want more in our business, more in our lives, more money, more clients, more freedom to spend with the people we love, and even maybe on ourselves, more vacations, all that kind of more. Well, today my friends, we sit down with amazing Denise Frenette, who is an author and a transformational coach herself, and we talk about what more really is and how you can actually have more, but a little bit different, more than what you think it might mean.

[00:00:40] Grab your pad of paper and pen as always and get ready for the Stern Truth on more.

[00:00:52] Hi, I'm Marshall Stern and I've spent over 35 years leading and growing multiple small businesses. I know firsthand the struggles of entrepreneurship, feeling isolated, lonely, overwhelmed, and feeling like you have to do it all by yourself. I've been through multiple recessions, and I have felt the highs and the lows.

[00:01:11] I've been there, and I get it. This podcast is here to change that. Every week I will bring you straight talking advice, real world strategies, and honest conversations about what it takes to succeed in business without the fluff, the gimmicks, or the sugar-coated. If you're ready to stop spinning your wheels and start making real progress, then you are in the right place.

[00:01:34] This is the Stern Truth. 

[00:01:39] Alright. Welcome back everyone to another episode of the Stern Truth Business Unfiltered. All right, Denise, my guest, I've been looking forward to this one. How are you? 

[00:01:51] Denise Frenette: I am doing fabulous, and thank you for having me on, and I've been looking forward to this as well because I love the name of your podcast, Stern Truth.

[00:02:04] Marshall Stern: Oh, we're going to thank you and it's fitting because we are going to be de let me just do a little caveat here for our, for our listeners, our viewers, whether you're listening on Spotify, Amazon, Apple, or YouTube, or watching on YouTube, be ready, my friends. Be ready for, we call them golden nuggets and Stern Truths, and Denise is going to deliver them big time.

[00:02:24] However, first, let's find out who is Denise. What do you do? 

[00:02:30] Denise Frenette: What do I do presently? 

[00:02:32] Marshall Stern: Presently. 

[00:02:32] Denise Frenette: We're going to get into, we're going to get into the before. I am a transformational life coach, and I am a spiritual synergist. I do this full-time, you know, depending on the week, depending if I'm wanting to have a bit more time off.

[00:02:51] That is one of the, the perks of being an entrepreneur. You get to dictate your, your hours. But I do this full-time and I've been doing coaching for a long time and I absolutely love it. 

[00:03:10] Marshall Stern: Yeah, I, I hear, I hear that. I feel that. Okay. How'd you get into it? What, because you had stuff before. 

[00:03:17] Denise Frenette: Yes.

[00:03:18] And so, I owned two wellness clinics, owned it for, one of them for, I think, 25 years. And when I say wellness clinic – clinics – I studied in bio energy nutrition as well. I practiced, also, as a natural health practitioner. We offered acupuncture, infrared saunas. I, myself, practice. We offered a lot of massage therapists.

[00:03:46] Massage therapy was big, and so on and so forth, so, and products. And so, did that for quite some while. Quite a time and, had employees and all of that. And I loved it. I loved the details of business. Always have. And I think I always knew from a very young age that I was going to be an entrepreneur.

[00:04:13] And –  

[00:04:15] Marshall Stern: Hang on. Can, can you say that word again? I love the way you say that. The French, French entrepreneur. 

[00:04:19] Denise Frenette: Entrepreneur, because I have a very hard time saying it in English. It's just French to me. It's entrepreneur. 

[00:04:28] Marshall Stern: My, my wife is great. My wife is a great judge because she's French. 

[00:04:30] Entrepreneur. I don't know how to say that fast.

[00:04:33] Denise Frenette: That was close, but yes. And, and so, and I love, I've always loved business. I loved the concepts behind different businesses, individuals that go into business, their passion, their love for hard work. And, and so on and so forth. And so, yes, I did, I've owned two wellness clinics and sold them, approximately, I think it's five years now, four and a half, five years ago.

[00:05:06] Or four anyway. Yeah, because I loved it, all the details till I didn't, and I knew it was time for me to move past that and to just do me, and not have employees anymore, not have the overhead of running, clinics, and so on and so forth. And that's when I got to fully express who I am as a spiritual synergist, is after I've sold the businesses, then I transitioned.

[00:05:42] Yeah. 

[00:05:43] Marshall Stern: So a lot of, there's a lot I'm relating to, a lot of this, as you know, because I went through my own transition in and out of my business, which I sold two and a half, almost three years ago. It's like time flies. Well, actually, three years when this is, it'll be three years when this is out, to coaching.

[00:06:00] Which I was doing as well at the same time. But I had lost passion for my other business, and this was my life calling, as they say, and to a lot of people out there, transformational or transformative. Life coach and spiritual this, spiritual that. Like it sounds very woo-woo and I'm looking at you, I'm being, we're going to get into all this stuff because I know it's not –

[00:06:20] It might be, but it's powerful because I'm looking at your wall and I know you also published a book, right? 

[00:06:25] Oh, that's my wall. But I'm looking at your – 

[00:06:26] Denise Frenette: That's right. 

[00:06:27] Marshall Stern: I'm looking at your wall. I'm seeing “I am kind” and then “More, more”. What's all this about? 

[00:06:33] Denise Frenette: So, part of the coaching, and it took me, it took me years.

[00:06:38] Because we, we all, we all evolve and we morph and all of that as we learn and as we grow and as I was doing my coaching. I would find that clients had great results for six months, and then they'd always fall back. Not always, but 90% of the time they'd go back to old patterns, old behaviors, and so on and so forth.

[00:07:04] And I'm like, darn, why is this happening? And so with research and with time, it really became crystal clear to me that there were. So many commonalities as to why this was happening. And a lot of it, a lot of it was past behaviors, in regards to growing up, what we picked up, what we were shown influences our perceptions, influences what we believe are our limitations, and so on and so forth.

[00:07:36] And so the more I moved forward in my coaching, the more I actually combined in my coaching address, the acknowledging of who we were growing up, what we were shown, the habits that we've seen, that we've seen, that we've heard that every, all, all of our senses I find play a big role in the way we learn, in the way we can change and so on.

[00:08:05] And so, what you're seeing on the wall is, part of the coaching that I do is part of the, acknowledging it's part of writing things down. Read them, reading them out loud, seeing them, the visual. And it sounds quite simplistic and I remember at first when I implemented it in my coaching, I'm thinking, this has got to be it, because I knew that everything we saw.

[00:08:35] Everything we smelt, whether it was great cooking in a kitchen or a rotting garbage can because your father or your mother wasn't around to change it, everything you heard, like, wait to go, Denise, or, I can't believe you did this again. What's wrong with you? Or the screaming and arguing in the background.

[00:09:00] All of these things influence how we experience life. Whether we experience it through a lens of fear or through a lens of freedom. All of these things come into play. So, through my coaching, I utilize all of our senses so that we can transform, so that we could change the way we perceive. And the more that you are seeing is this is the book that I wrote, which is more because it's time.

[00:09:32] And it's exactly about all of that, about transformation, understanding what forgiveness is, what acknowledgement is, what boundaries are, what passion is, understanding what more can be for you and how it could be liberating. 

[00:09:51] Marshall Stern: Okay. So, I want to go down that route for a second. But because a lot of our listeners, most of them, I imagine, our business owners, entrepreneurs, everybody wants more.

[00:10:02] Everybody wants more money. Everybody wants more freedom. Okay? They're not necessarily thinking about more, deep down, probably more calmness and more simplicity, but they're thinking more, right? More results. Materialistic, more. How do we, you know, you talk about – okay, there's some, it's kind of, there's a fine line because you talked at the beginning about hard work.

[00:10:27] Denise Frenette: Yeah. 

[00:10:27] Marshall Stern: You use the term hard work and a lot of business owners get, so let's, let's, this is this. Let's talk, let's talk Stern Truths, why do we get in, most of us get into business? Why do most people get into, start their own business? What's, what's your feeling on that? 

[00:10:42] Denise Frenette: Well, I mean, one of the reasons I went into business, because I thought I could do it better than others.

[00:10:48] I saw a need, I had a passion, and I thought, wait a minute, I can do it better. I, I want to do it my way. That was the initial, initial reason, honestly. And I do have an eye for detail. My father and my, my mother was a businesswoman. I was brought up in that, in that world, and that was it, I think it was just in my blood in that sense.

[00:11:15] What I loved about the idea of having a business is having the freedom to do. What you want to do, express it the way you want to express it, and taking full responsibility for that. Now, there's pros and cons to that, because often, depending how old you are or what kind of a background experience you have in regards to business, you learn as you go.

[00:11:45] And, man, some of that learning can be harsh financially. And when it comes to ego, because I know I've had my ups and downs in business, of course. I started and I was, well, I was young. I, I didn't think I was young. 

[00:12:00] Marshall Stern: Young. You're, you're young. What are you talking about? You're still young. 

[00:12:02] Denise Frenette: Exactly. But I was younger with less experience and a lot more ego.

[00:12:08] And which, partly, was good too. because that's what kept me going. And so I know that a lot of individuals, that go into, into, into business starting a small business or, or a medium sized business is often because they're not satisfied with the status quo, typical kind of work kind of job, the nine to five,  kind of work.

[00:12:32] And that's fine. I'm one of them. I, I just didn't fit into that box. With that said, it takes a lot of grit. I love that word. It takes a lot of grit because it does take perseverance, confidence because when things don't go your way, if you don't have the confidence, the vision, then it's easy to, to just fail.

[00:13:00] It really is. And so, for business owners, one of the things that I admire about business owner is that grit, is that ability to see vision, bring it into details, bring it into and more. I talk about money and more, okay? 

[00:13:19] Marshall Stern: Mm-hmm. 

[00:13:21] Denise Frenette: And my original thought in writing the book was really more about just the money, but then how, how to get past certain fears, how past limiting beliefs and, and having the courage to go.

[00:13:36] Pass those lines to color behind the, beyond the lines and, and so on and so forth. Because if, depending on the business that you are in, so, the business I was in, the wellness industry, the coaching industry and all of that, we had to go past what we learned because the wellness industry is in constant growth.

[00:13:56] Mind you, I would believe that all industries should be in constant growth. 

[00:14:02] Marshall Stern: Mm-hmm. 

[00:14:02] Denise Frenette: Which means you have to have. What it takes to constantly research, to constantly want to grow. And so one of the things that I admire about s are the way their brains work, in regards to those details, in regards to, hopefully, clarity, when it comes to that.

[00:14:22] Is everybody cut out for, for this? No. Not even close. Not even close. A lot of people think they are. But they find out, within the first, some say, five years, within the first three years, they'll find out and a lot of businesses go under in the first three, four years. I had a little story in regards to that, not a business going under.

[00:14:46] Okay. But I had a, an employee and she'd been with us – this is obviously quite some while ago – she'd been with us for about, I don't know, 10 years. And we paid – t hey were paid very well. Okay. I made sure that in our industry, top - okay, so. Paid very well, and, and, and they were spoiled and the whole bit.

[00:15:13] And so she decides to go on vacation. Great. I give her a bonus, have fun on vacation, and all of that. And she was a full-time. And she comes back, with no warning to me. She goes, guess what? I, I, I'm done. I quit. And she started a business very close to ours, identical business, very close. And I remember thinking, oh my God, which means a lot of clients go and we list and it hurt.

[00:15:42] And not only that, but she took two other employees with her. Ouch. Oh, and I was pissed. I was so angry the whole bit. But what do you want? It's part of business. Did it hurt financially? Yeah, it did. But you recoup, you hire and you go on. You've got to, that's the way it goes. Anyway, two years later, I'm at Tim Horton's waiting for a coffee, and she comes up behind me and she goes, Denise, I go, hi.

[00:16:12] I hadn't seen, well, I knew where her business was. It wasn't that far. And so anyway, and she goes, I need to say something. And I said, what's that? I am so, so sorry. I had no idea what it took to run a business. I thought I knew better. I thought. She goes, I don't know how you do it. I want out now. She didn't get out.

[00:16:39] I actually encouraged her not to. Because honestly, she was amazing at what she did. She really was. And she's still in business today and she's, and she is doing great and I'm so happy for her. With that said, she said I had, I had no idea. A lot of business owners don't get it till you're in it, till you understand the pressures of having the bills, the overhead, other employees, their salaries, people depending on you.

[00:17:11] No calling in sick. Doesn't matter if someone dies, someone passes away. You take two days and you're back and you Well, I, we did. I had to. And, and business goes. The world doesn't stop. The bills still need to be paid, and it's on your shoulders. And so it's not for everybody. And that's the truth. 

[00:17:32] Marshall Stern: That is the Stern Truth.

[00:17:34] Denise Frenette: That is the Stern Truth. Yes. 

[00:17:36] Marshall Stern: Well, but so yeah, when you were telling me the Tim Hortons story, I thought you were going to say she was serving you the coffee. 

[00:17:42] Denise Frenette: Oh! 

[00:17:42] Marshall Stern: So that's good. It's a better story. It's a better ending. Better. Better ending 

[00:17:45] Denise Frenette: Karma! 

[00:17:46] Marshall Stern: Better ending. That's you could, that's, yeah. Better ending. Nothing wrong with serving coffee, Tim Horton's, just so you know.

[00:17:53] Okay. That's okay. Just so you know. Because Tim Horton's a great company. So here's the thing. Like so many people, like we were talking about, like. Why we get into business. And you use that F word. The F word, right? Freedom. So, they want the – 

[00:18:07] Denise Frenette: Oh, okay! Sorry. That one. That one. Okay. 

[00:18:11] Marshall Stern: Right. They get into business for - because you said like, the, freedom, they want freedom of time.

[00:18:15] They're tired of the nine to five. Well, trust me, people, if you're tired of the nine to five, become an entrepreneur, guys. It ain't nine to five. 

[00:18:22] Denise Frenette: It won't be a nine to five. Are you kidding me? 

[00:18:25] Marshall Stern: Yeah. It's no nine to five. They want the freedom of time. They want the freedom of money. Well, the problem is, and this is all, like, what they talk about, Michael Gerber talks about in the E-Myth, what, be careful what you wish for because you're not going to have the freedom of time.

[00:18:40] Denise Frenette: Nope. 

[00:18:41] Marshall Stern: Yeah You're not going to have the freedom of money at the beginning. 

[00:18:43] Denise Frenette: Nope. 

[00:18:44] Marshall Stern: Yeah You're going to end up working as Michael Gerber says, you're going to end up working for a psycho boss who gives you zero vacation, like, and you were saying. Right. So it does take hard work and grit and a lot of people – I love how you say it's not for everyone.

[00:18:59] Denise Frenette: You’ve got to love it. 

[00:19:00] Marshall Stern: You got to love it. So, in order to, for us to have more – you can hold up the book if you want  - “more”. How do we as entrepreneurs, entrepreneurs, how do we achieve the more spiritually and overall, how do we achieve more in our lives? 

[00:19:19] Denise Frenette: So, at one point with the businesses, when I was in business, I had two family members who passed away within three months. And, and it hit hard like emotionally, I mean, obviously. And I kept on going to work. because you have to. Yeah, you do. And it occurred to me, and that was closer to the end, it occurred to me that to have more, there needs to be an honest look at all aspects of your life.

[00:19:52] It's never just about business at all. And I realized then I wasn't showing up like I used to. I mean, I didn't care about the hours. When you love what you do and when you're passionate, you do. You always love it. Of course not. Absolutely not. When you have to fire people, when you're, you're short staffed.

[00:20:15] When you are in, all of those things come into play. It's stressful. With that said, when you believe in your product, your business, your service, your vision, yourself, wow. It doesn't matter if you show up on a Sunday, it doesn't matter if you are doing, it's, to me it was business and I loved it to survive, to experience the more and even when we made more money.

[00:20:42] Okay? It's awesome. With that said to experience, the more you have to look at all aspects of life, you have to look at your private life, your relationship, how things are going with your kids, what's going on with your own personal growth, all of it. because if you don't, you are going to miss the boat. I don't care how successful you are financially.

[00:21:07] It doesn't matter. And I know, because I do coaching and a bulk of my clients are business owners and they come to me feeling empty, done, finished. And, for the most part, it's not because of business. It's not because there's no more need for what they are offering often. No, it is their personal lives because they are no longer motivated because they have no more clarity and so on and so forth.

[00:21:37] And so, a heads up to business owners out there. Do not neglect your husband, your wife. Okay. Take as much time, but let's use the word quality time, more important. And we hear it, we hear it, but it is so true. The quality time with the kids, understanding where you are at going inwards and really reflecting where the frustrations, because you will have frustrations, period.

[00:22:07] Where are they coming from? Is it truly from the business? And if it is, why are you not organized enough? Are you not focused enough? Are you not positive enough? Are you not honest enough with your, the, I see your coworkers with your, your team. Are you a leader or are you not? Are you making excuses? All of these things. I'm about, I've got new clients this new – 

[00:22:38] I've got new clients coming up. Okay. And so we've already had our first chat and it is, there's three men. They're all owners of a business and they want to franchise, they want to grow, and I think they have a great product and blah, blah, blah, and so on and so forth. Okay? Their main problem is not that there's no demand.

[00:22:58] Nope. Because I'm thinking, why are they coming to see me? They're busy, busy, busy. So the money's coming in. Okay. The demand is there. Perfect. What their problem is, is their ability to communicate properly and to have a vision that is unified. 

[00:23:17] Marshall Stern: Within the three of them. 

[00:23:19] Denise Frenette: Yes. And I thought, okay, absolutely.

[00:23:22] Then if you look at all three individually, there is the exact same lack in all of their personal lives. All of it. And so we were talking about, the more, we were talking about how do you get to it? Stop chasing it, stop looking, start looking at your life as it is and in a – with a lens of honesty. Okay.

[00:23:48] Start seeing it with what you've already got, what you focus on multiplies. So, if you see your staff, okay, your team as lazy, been there, lazy, not good enough, what's wrong with them, that will multiply. That energy is contagious. If you see them as human beings and you want more from them because you see their qualities, because, not because they're lazy, because you see their qualities, you see what they're struggling with, and you want to bring more into their lives because they are going to bring more into yours.

[00:24:28] What a different approach. 

[00:24:32] Marshall Stern: Well, that's leadership. Really good. Leadership. 

[00:24:35] Denise Frenette: Exactly. Exactly. And a lot of entrepreneurs don't fully grasp that. They just have a vision, and they want to make more money, and they want to just blow it up in a good way. That's great. But it takes a lot more than that. It's a combination of things.

[00:24:51] Marshall Stern: Yeah. No, I, I love that. I love that. And it go, it, it, it goes back to really, it's also the, like you even, it's the people you talked about that I alluded to a little bit. It's the people in the business too, like the, the employees, the team members, right, of the business. If you're not in touch with your “more”, if you're not being a leader for your people, for yourself first, you have to lead yourself in order to be able to lead anyone else. 

[00:25:16] And lead and leading isn't, isn't just, that doesn't mean like you're at the mountaintop and you are the leader and then you have all these – no, that's, that's the old way. That's what people think.

[00:25:25] Leadership. That's not leadership. 

[00:25:27] Denise Frenette: That's dictatorship. 

[00:25:28] Marshall Stern: That's dictatorship. Which we see enough of that in the world. 

[00:25:31] Denise Frenette: Yes. 

[00:25:31] Marshall Stern: We're not going there. 

[00:25:32] Denise Frenette: We definitely won't go there. 

[00:25:33] Marshall Stern: We're not going, we're not going South. I mean, we're not going there. Okay. For our business, for our listeners, business owners, entrepreneurs.

[00:25:44] Because there's a difference. Not every business owner is an entrepreneur, and not all entrepreneurs are necessarily business owners. 

[00:25:49] Denise Frenette:  That's true. 

[00:25:50] Marshall Stern: So, but for both groups or people who are thinking of it, getting into this whole world, what would you say would be, if, if you could forget that whole – let's hold on before we go.

[00:26:01] I have two. Let's hold onto that one for a second. We're going to put that as to aside. 

[00:26:05] What is one… if you knew – okay. Because we're talking, you had, you said about 20, 25 years you had the wellness companies, one of them. Okay, so going back, cue the harp way back to, if you knew then when you started out, the younger Denise.

[00:26:22] Younger Denise. Right. What -  you know,  now, what would you tell your younger self? 

[00:26:28] Denise Frenette: Well, I would warn her about the pandemic. 

[00:26:33] Marshall Stern: Please call me and tell me and warn me about that too, please. Thank you.

[00:26:36] Denise Frenette: Okay. So, honestly, when you started asking the question, the first, first thing that came to mind was follow my gut instinct from the get go.

[00:26:48] And now when I say gut, okay, because we’ve got to be careful with that. Some people are emotional beings. Okay. And some people don't understand. When I refer to a gut instinct, I don't mean to make decisions on a fly, okay? Is when you see and feel something that is off and it's not going away, it needs to be addressed.

[00:27:17] And so, and when I think back on my business. I know mine, when I started selling products, I love shopping and I love stuff and, and I like beautiful stuff. And I started selling products first. It was vitamins, minerals. That was great. I should have just stuck with that. And I went beyond that.

[00:27:38] Okay, and my gut was thinking, no. My ego was saying yes. Okay, because I love it and I know that the numbers weren't there. With certain products, we were just breaking even, and a part of me didn't care. Okay? If I could go back, I would say, no. Numbers are extremely important. Put, put my ego, what I love, what looks good aside, and go with what numbers.

[00:28:12] Where are the numbers? What, what, what is needed, cater to that and, and anything else that doesn't fit into that. Be smart, eliminate it, and focus on what brings in the money, period. 

[00:28:27] Marshall Stern: Okay, so, I'm going to push back on that one a little bit. Maybe push back is the wrong term. I, I want to go down this road for a second.

[00:28:34] Because you brought up something really interesting and so you talk about gut versus ego. And if we're looking at the numbers, and this is really just this, is this a Stern – not a gold nugget, it's just a Stern Truth. It is hard if, if, when you are passionate about what you do. 

[00:28:51] And maybe this is the ego as I'm talking, maybe I'm thinking this is the ego.

[00:28:55] Denise Frenette: Yeah. 

[00:28:56] Actually it is. I'm answering my own question. I'm going to say it anyways for the listeners So I'm glad – 

[00:29:00] Denise Frenette: I know where you’re going.

[00:29:00] Marshall Stern: I'm glad you brought that up. Like, like I, I just like you. I love coaching. Love it. And I remember early on when I, when I was trying to do both my sign graphics company and the coaching, I wasn't doing either really well, honestly, I wasn't, as the leader for both.

[00:29:16] Okay. The sign company was doing fine. I mean, the pandemic was a kick in the gut, for the most part, but it was for all, most many companies, especially yours, your industry, you look at the numbers and the numbers don't lie. Fair enough. But in your gut, I guess it's the separation between heart desire and gut.

[00:29:38] And maybe the heart desire is where the ego can be. Too much because you really feel, oh, and I used to say this, oh, just another, for my coaching business early on, I'll give another three months, I would tell my wife, because my focus was all on that, and I was, I really dropped the ball with being the leader for my sign company early on.

[00:29:57] Denise Frenette: Yeah. 

[00:29:58] Marshall Stern: And I would say, I'm just going to give it six months. I'm going to give it another three months. I'm going to, because I, I just, I love this. I know I can make a difference and I know I can get there. But I wasn't, and I kept going and I kept dropping the ball over here. So is that, and I know a lot of people out there are thinking their business might be struggling financially, but they know in their, in their heart, they can make it work.

[00:30:20] They really want to make it work. They don't want to go back to corporate. They don't want to do that. Where is it? It's gut, heart, ego. It's all wanting more, but where is it – what do we do? Like it's confusing for people. 

[00:30:32] Denise Frenette: Where do you draw the line or where do you know? So, I always go back and I, and I know this isn't,  you would love to have the beautiful talk about just you follow your gut and with hard work, everything works out.

[00:30:47] That is not the way it works out sometimes. No, always do the research in regards to the market. And what I mean by that is, is your service, is what you are offering in need? Are you good enough? Is the product good enough? If it isn't, does the price reflect its value? Okay. Because you could be selling something not as good a value, and it's okay as long as the price reflects it, and people that have less money will buy it.

[00:31:20] You can make tons of money, like, that, as, as long as the price reflects the service and so on and so forth. So, so, what I'm saying is do your homework to any business owner, do your homework, and then zone in on what your niche is. So, this new business, or actually this other business that I have, she owns two businesses.

[00:31:44] Very different, very different. Now the one that she doesn't like that much anymore, brings in the money. The one that she really likes brings zero. Okay. Because she's not that good at it. She doesn't have enough experience. She hasn't taken enough programs, but man, her passion is there and she wants to let this business go.

[00:32:09] And you would think going to see a spiritual synergist who just wrote a book about more, I would encourage her to go towards her life's passion. No, no. I'm not saying you can't have that. You just have to do it wisely. And if you don't care that much about that, then maybe hire someone who could partly run it.

[00:32:28] Okay. Yeah, you'll make less money for now while you work on this, that there's always transitions involved and so on. But you got to use your brains. You've got to know your niche. Right now, she's splitting herself in two. It reminds me of the, your story, okay? Where she's not giving her true self a hundred percent to what she's doing.

[00:32:50] She's scattered. Scattered, and it won't work. Eventually she'll either burn out and that's not a representation of whether the business is good. No. It's a representation of whether she is showing up the way she's supposed to be showing up and she's not. So that reflects when we were talking earlier about leadership.

[00:33:13] When she shows up to that one place, to her, one business that is making money. It's making money. Okay? She shows up. She's often herself running behind. She gets impatient with, with her employees, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. because she's not liking it anymore. She finds it too hard, okay? But it isn't, it's not that it's too hard.

[00:33:37] She lost the passion for it. Now can she get the passion back for it? Absolutely. She can absolutely get the passion back for it. Now, if every other aspect of your life is lacking and you're expecting your business to bring in fulfillment to cover all of that. It's not going to happen. You are going to burn out.

[00:33:59] Same for the other way around. Even if everything's going great here, but there is not a good enough business plan strategy, you're not organized, you haven't done the numbers. I don't care how great everything else is, it's not going to make that work either. It is a combination of both. A real leader understands that.

[00:34:20] A real leader under shows. At work with tools that they can share that will benefit everyone around them. A real leader will know the numbers. 

[00:34:35] Will come to terms with those numbers, will do the research, and then will think outside the box will be creative enough and if they aren't, they'll be smart enough to go and ask to get the coaching, to go and ask to go outside and get the guidance needed.

[00:34:53] So it takes, it takes a lot to be able to grasp all that so that you can keep moving forward in a way that brings in more, more income, more results, more fulfillment and so on. Living in the essence of more, I talk about it, living in the essence of war is not easy. It takes brutal honesty. 

[00:35:16] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:35:17] Denise Frenette: It really, and it, and it takes work.

[00:35:20] Marshall Stern: I, no, I love that. And, and you know, we talk about grit and we talk about hard work and all of that. So, what I, what I ended up doing, because my graphics signing graphics business was, I was dropping the ball and the coaching wasn't going great early on. So I, I told my wife, I said I was going to give so many months, so, I know, so finally I had to, she said like, and she's not, she's not the boss of me.

[00:35:43] She said, I think you have to make a decision. I think you have to stop coaching. And that was like a, just a knife right through my heart. 

[00:35:52] Denise Frenette: Yeah. 

[00:35:53] Marshall Stern: So, what I did was I said, okay, I'm going to put it on pause because it's not, because I knew I was good. I knew I could do something special with it, and I could build a really good company and it was needed.

[00:36:07] So, it's not that that was just good. There was the need. We talk about the need has to be a need, but you also have to be good, need good and need. People have to want it. And so I put it on pause. It was the hardest decision I ever made. And I put it on pause for probably 18 months, but did I really? Right?

[00:36:24] I did, but did I really? 

[00:36:35] Denise Frenette: Of course. Yes. 

[00:36:26] Marshall Stern: So, like I was, I stepped into my leadership role back in my sign company. I got it back up to where it needed to be, but I would constantly, if I would be scrolling on Facebook or LinkedIn, whatever, and see a webinar on, something to do with the coaching industry or whatever, transform, I, I just click register, get the spot.

[00:36:43] I was constantly being pulled because there was something definitely lacking. 

[00:36:48] Denise Frenette: Yeah. 

[00:36:49] Marshall Stern: And eventually built up. I, I stepped into leadership role, built my business back up. Everything was great. And then I slowly, more intentionally and more as the leader with a plan built up my coaching business. And had to exit strategy for my sign company.

[00:37:03] Denise Frenette: I love that. 

[00:37:04] Marshall Stern: Okay. 

[00:37:04] Denise Frenette: Going in with the plan. 

[00:37:06] Marshall Stern: With the plan. 

[00:37:07] Denise Frenette: Yes. 

[00:37:07] Marshall Stern: But I love the biggest takeaway I – and I want to hear, as we wrap up, I want to hear, I, I ask this all the time, but listeners, gang, you out there watching, listening? I want to hear your biggest takeaways. For me right now, yes. It's all about the more, but the big aha moment for me was the ego.

[00:37:27] Denise Frenette: Yeah. 

[00:37:28] Marshall Stern: Right. 

[00:37:28] Denise Frenette: Yep. And it's not the right time. Like what you did, you paused it, it, it might not be the right time. because I remember I wanted to write the book. It's five, six years ago. 

[00:37:40] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:37:40] Denise Frenette: I wanted to do this full time like way before and, and it wasn't the time and I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I did. because I did not have the knowledge then that I have now.

[00:37:52] Marshall Stern: Yeah. 

[00:37:52] Denise Frenette:  I was not ready. 

[00:37:56] Marshall Stern: Well, there's a, there's a difference, right? So, it might be the, it might be the right time, but you might not be ready. 

[00:38:03] Denise Frenette: Yep. Yeah. 

[00:38:04] Marshall Stern: Or it might be the wrong time. You might be ready, or it might be the wrong time and you're not ready. But that's for you, the individual to determine.

[00:38:10] Denise Frenette: That's right. 

[00:38:11] Marshall Stern: With putting ego aside. And that is very difficult for people to do. 

[00:38:16] And I would've never thought that I - my ego was getting in the way. I always thought that this is what I'm called for. This is my purpose, my passion. This is like, you know, Oprah. I saw Oprah. I was talking about this with another club.

[00:38:29] I saw Oprah and she said, our, our – we've all been put on this planet – she believes our real job is to find our purpose and to live our purpose, whether you can monetize it or not. She said, if you can monetize your purpose, great. 

[00:38:41] Denise Frenette: Has nothing yet exactly. 

[00:38:43] Marshall Stern: So that – 

[00:38:43] Denise Frenette: We have multitudes of purposes, by the way.

[00:38:46] Marshall Stern: I, I agree. I agree, but – 

[00:38:48] Denise Frenette: Just, just, yeah. 

[00:38:49] Marshall Stern: Yeah. But, but, generally, I think my purpose is one thing, but it spreads across all like my family, obviously a hundred percent number one. 

[00:38:57] Denise Frenette: Yeah. 

[00:38:57] Marshall Stern: Like, that's just right. Actually, it's funny before we go, so I remember, and this is going on the spiritual side, when my father passed away, long time, I was, like, 20 years old.

[00:39:09] And I remember the executor, the lawyer, which was a good friend of his, said to us, sat me and my brother and sister down, just after the day of the funeral. After the funeral, and he said, I'll never forget this. This is like how many years ago? 38 years ago. Right. I just told my age – crap. I just gave away my age 39 years ago.

[00:39:31] And he said we were all, same thing, like the, the Oprah thing. We were all put on this - this is what he believed, he says, I want the three of you to take lessons from your father. He says, but honestly, I believe we are all put on this world to make it a better place when we leave than when we came in, which is obviously raising the – right?

[00:39:51] And that sat, that sat with me. And I think that is part of the reason, now that I think about it, why I ended up, I mean, I was always sort of in that space. I was always the kind of, the nurturer and whatever. But I think that's what really led me to, to –  

[00:40:04] Denise Frenette: Wanting to further. 

[00:40:05] Marshall Stern: Wanting more. 

[00:40:06] Denise Frenette: Yeah, exactly. Wanting more. You know, it's funny because I struggled with that, wanting more.

[00:40:15] And I remember the -  when this came to me,  it came to me with a lot of anger. It came to me with a lot of frustration, confusion why I wasn't getting more, and I look back and I see all the more that I had around me that I wasn't seeing, that I wasn't experiencing. And it is through the anger, through the frustration, through the confusion that with a lot of grit and with a lot of stubborn bling that I figured out what more was.

[00:40:50] And don't get me wrong, I love beautiful things and I love five star restaurants and, and,  I like nice clothing and all of that stuff. And I know for me that I was, I think I put too much value, self value on that.

[00:41:08] On the, the meaning of success and all of that. And if there's anything, anyone who would be listening to this is to really understand that there's so much more to life than just the business. It does not - whether you're successful - there's a lot of really successful, successful financially individuals in power that personally I would never, ever want their lives.

[00:41:38] I think that there are a lot of individuals that could be successful in one area yet really missing the boat on what life is on, what more is. And so do I love business? Absolutely.  I love life that much more. I love people that much more. And if there's anything for any of the listeners out there, business owners, keep doing what you're doing.

[00:42:06] Don't lose track of what else you could be doing while you are creating, while you're – who is, who is it that maybe you could influence in a good way, that you could help in a good way? Don't lose track of that, because that's important. It, it really, really, truly is. 

[00:42:29] Marshall Stern: Love it. Thank you so much and, and this has been amazing.

[00:42:32] And gang, if you want more from this amazing guest. I'm going to put it all in the, in the show notes. Okay. But how, Denise, how can our listeners get more, including your book and reaching out to you? What's the best way? 

[00:42:46] Denise Frenette: I'll say it's through my website, which is my name, denisefrenette.com.  

[00:42:52] Marshall Stern: Okay. 

[00:42:52] Denise Frenette: Everything is on that.

[00:42:54] All the information in regards to my coaching, in regards to my book, is, is on the website. That is the best way to get through to me, it is through denisefrenette.com. 

[00:43:06] Marshall Stern: Is that one N, two T's? 

[00:43:09] Denise Frenette: Yep. Two T's. 

[00:43:10] Marshall Stern: Two Ts. I'll put it in the show notes. 

[00:43:12] Denise Frenette: Yes, exactly. So, yeah. And I want to say, we, we had our, our chat before, obviously, the, the recording of this podcast.

[00:43:24] And I just have to say, Marshall, that number one, I have absolutely loved your energy. I love what it is that you're doing. If not, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be here. And I just want to thank you for the opportunity to have a chat, to have this talk with you. It really does mean a lot to me. I love seeing people having an impact and a ripple effect, like what it is that you're doing.

[00:43:50] So, kudos to you for having the grit and, and showing up like you do. And I want to thank you, thank you for being you and for being there. 

[00:44:02] Marshall Stern: Thank you. A mentor of mine once said, you need to receive it – be able to receive it. So, I receive it and I thank you and I and I and back to you. Back at you.

[00:44:12] Same thing. The same thing. So I'm really glad that we had this conversation and we went more time than we normally do because there is so much more. I'm real, I'm milking it. There's, there's so much. I don't, there's so much more pointing at your wall to this, to this conversation, and to Denise. So again, yeah, get out there.

[00:44:31] Get her book. And this is not about just promoting the book, it's promoting more. And – 

[00:44:37] Denise Frenette: Yeah. Even if they don't get the book, the only thing I, is, I want them to really at least invite the idea of exploring more and what that actually means to them in their lives. 

[00:44:48] Marshall Stern: Yeah. Perfect. Thank you. You hang tight everyone.

[00:44:51] This has been amazing. So, five star review, wherever you're listening, watching, share it with your people. But if you give it a five star review, what you are doing is you're telling the podcast platforms, this episode, this podcast is relevant and other people need to listen to it because the more people who say, click five stars in this episode, the more people we'll get to.

[00:45:15] The more I keep saying more, I'm going to be saying this forever, the more people get to listen to this amazing woman. Denise, thank you so much. 

[00:45:23] Denise Frenette: Thank you very much. 

[00:45:24] Marshall Stern: And for the rest of you, yeah, also subscribe, do all that kind of stuff. See you again next week on another episode of The Stern Truth Business Unfiltered.

[00:45:33] Bye for now. 

[00:45:36] Thank you so much for tuning in to the Stern Truth. If you found today's episode helpful, we would love to hear from you. Please like, share, and leave us a review. Also, if you'd like to be a guest in an upcoming episode or join us in one of our Moment Accountability Group sessions, simply email me to marshall@marshallstern.net. 

[00:45:56] That's marshall@marshallstern.net. And don't forget to hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode. Until next time, keep pushing forward and leading with confidence.